Comedienne Megan Koester has a piece up on Vice that I strongly encourage DKos members to read. (It’s a few days old, so pardon if you’ve already seen it.)
It’s not the first piece of its type, nor the most vitriolically written (swear words are relatively rare). Most importantly, it’s less raging than simply… auditing, speaking firsthand to the enormous inertia that has existed (and make no mistake, still exists) in circles where the majority of power and status is held by white men.
Again, I encourage reading the piece in its entirety (more than once if possible), but here are a few key passages:
I knew about the Louis C.K. stories for years because everyone I know knew about the Louis C.K. stories for years. That’s just how these things are—or, I suppose, were. Before now, predators in the entertainment industry got away with decades of abhorrent behavior because no one was willing to publicly call them out on it for myriad reasons, most notably fear and self preservation. It’s easy to be the 2,000th person to retweet a headline after it’s been plastered all over the nightly news; it’s harder to be the only person yelling into the void.
I hesitated to post just that paragraph without its setup paragraphs, but don’t want to brush against Fair Use. It will have more impact when read in context.
This next paragraph is pivotal to the overall message, and pithily states a point that I think much of the public perception of this wave of resistance to serial sexual predation and abuse has missed. All emphasis is mine.
C.K.’s manager, Dave Becky (who, let the record show, I have never spoken to), claims he didn’t threaten anyone into silence; he may very well be telling the truth. The fact is, however, he didn’t have to outwardly threaten anyone to achieve that effect. Anyone in a position of power telling someone who is comparatively powerless to not talk about their personal experience or their knowledge of someone else’s experience—as he is alleged to have done—comes off as a threat. The more a person thinks they’ll be punished for speaking, the less inclined they are to speak.
Echoes of this vicious paradigm hang in the air, not quite spoken, in the recording of Harvey Weinstein’s heinous treatment of a 22-year old model, Ambra Battilana. (Trigger warning!)
The closest thing to a threat is, “No. You must come here now.” But notice too: “Don’t embarrass me in the hotel, I’m here all the time.” (Several variations on that one.) And, “Don’t ruin your friendship with me for five minutes.”
Notice that these are not overt threats; they are implied. Don’t ruin your friendship with me. Unstated but clear is the threat that such friendship has industry benefits, that, if withheld, will impact Ms. Battilana’s career negatively.
This is how it’s done. The fist hides in a velvet glove. But it has fallen in the past, and any who tread the halls of these industries know it all too well.
My final full-PP quote under Fair Use is Ms. Koester’s penultimate paragraph:
Now that it's out in the open, rather than vindication I feel disdain for the fact that people only started giving a shit about decades of allegations once women's victimhood started trending. While I appreciate the fact that things are changing, I fear for the longevity of it. What will happen when #MeToo falls into the digital chasm that absorbed #YesAllWomen? Why was I one of only a handful of people who cared before a hashtag made it OK?
Shakesville’s Liss McEwan has of late expressed similar sentiments — exhaustion far beyond amusement or even bemusement; simply utter, bone-deep, soul-breaking exhaustion with this struggle. I can’t blame her. Because the deck really has been stacked. And it’s all too easy to believe that once this “awareness peak” passes, that things will simply slide back into their familiar, awful former state.
I submit that we all — all males — have responsibility in pushing back against this; internal as well as external. Yes, all males. All men. If we’re allies, then we need to be allies. We do need to check our internal monologue. We need to audit very presently, and listen for ingrained misogyny. This isn’t a callout — it’s a plea for help.
Because Liss and Megan are right. Women aren’t listened to. They should be. Everything that has ever been or ever will be divine knows they should be. But right here, right now, they’re not.
And that brings us back to Ms. Koester’s essay. At risk of skirting Fair Use, I’m going to also quote the final line:
I merely hope morality becomes the new normal.
As do I, ma’am.
Again, I entreat you to read the full piece and give it some thought. Even if you already knew this firsthand.
Thanks for reading.