There’s a hot holiday must-have that’s got Amazon reviewers excited:
Trump Make America Great Again Red Cap Collectible Ornament to adorn your holiday CHRISTMAS, DAMN IT! tree.
I first encountered this perusing the GOP’s Twitter feed, where it’s being offered as a special price fundraiser for only $45.
Real supporters of The Greatest President EverTM will, of course, insist on paying full price for this lifetime keepsake, and they won’t be disappointed. Amazon has ‘em in stock, with no brick-and-mortar mall-brawling. $59.99 with free shipping.
I guess you didn’t hear me. I said, “Free shipping!” What are you waiting for? Join the ones of satisfied customers staring in rapt awe at this treasure* sparkling up their homes.
Don’t believe me? Just ask the reviewers:
Every autumn my family chooses a new ornament to go onto our holiday tree. This year it was between this ornament and another one that is less flashy, less gaudy, and just overall nicer. During our family meeting we overwhelmingly chose the other ornament but somehow we still ended up with this one. We're not sure what happened.
Woke up one morning to find all the gifts that had been under the tree arranged as a wall between us and the tree. This happened right after this ornament mysteriously appeared. Also, all of my Barbie ornaments seem to be frightened.
I bought this because I heard it was probably going to be Ornament of the Year.
Even the cat hates it.
Low energy ornament.
Edit: Originally read “Chinese treasure,” but BoiseBlue points out in the comments that the details page says, “This product made in USA.”
Since this product is creating American jobs, I’ve changed my view. Buy it! Buy a dozen! Hell, buy a bucket of ‘em for the driving range!