Gun Shop Dialogue
Me: Good afternoon.
Gun shop owner: Good afternoon, sir. How may I help you?
Me: I would like to buy a gun.
Gun shop owner: Terrific! What kind of gun will you need? Are you going hunting? Target shooting perhaps?
Me: No. That's not it.
Gun shop owner: Well then, tell me what you will be doing and I can help you choose the kind of gun will you require.
Me: I would like to buy a gun that I can use to kill as many people as I possible can, without having to stop and re-load. Maybe a hundred or more rounds at a time.
Gun shop owner: (after a few seconds of stunned silence) Killing lots of people without reloading? Why do you want to be able to do that?
Me: Self-defense and to protect my family.
Gun shop owner: And you think it will be necessary to kill lots of people to defend yourself?
Me: Yes, I probably need to kill lots of people to protect my family from criminals because there are a lot of them and sometimes they run in gangs. And I might also need to protect myself from the government. With all of the over-reach these days, I'm thinking it's past time that I prepare to fight for my freedom. We will all have to take matters into our own hands.
I understand that the semi-automatic Bushmaster XM 15-E2S rifle is a good one. Isn't that the one that has been used in several mass shootings, like the one at the elementary school in Newtown?
Gun shop owner: Yes, unfortunately, it's been used for that.
Me: (excitedly) Then that's the one I want! I want to be able to kill lots of people with the same ease as mass murderers do (nervous giggle)! Also, I would like to buy one of those bump stock things. I may need to get off even more rounds per second than what is usual.
Gun shop owner: Sir, uh, I’m sorry, but we don’t sell those any longer.
Me: That’s okay. I’ll just fabricate one of them in my garage. I think I could find a YouTube video that’ll tell me all I need to know.
Story ending #1: Gun shop owner excuses himself and calls the cops. He keeps me within his eyesight until they arrive.
Story ending #2: Gun shop owner takes my application for a gun permit, but then re-flags me as a potentially dangerous client.
Story ending #3: Gun owner asks, “VISA or Discover?”
Please comment on which ending you find most realistic.