It seems as if a dozen or more powerful, influential, and wealthy men have fallen to sexual scandal and the national disgrace and shame that accompanies it during the past few weeks. If you go back six months to a year, there’s a multitude more. Since Donald Trump has taken office, we’ve been hit by horrific media accounts of the transgressions and antisocial and dangerous acts of debauchery and lechery by these men who have fallen into disgrace and dishonor. Even rape has been on the menu for these miscreants.
Although President Trump has been a leading figure in this media mess, the buck hardly begins or stops with him. The runaway train of sexual perversion, indecency, and abuse is a long one spanning the distant horizons. It began running decades ago, if not earlier. It is a crazy train with far too many passengers to count, or even to speculate, as an accurate figure.
Just when we’re overwhelmed by it all, getting hit with another slew of salacious and libidinous acts by one of the Great and the Good, yet another account of some famed and wealthy politico or stellar household name basking for decades in the limelight of celebrity, emerges that keeps that gut-twisting paddle moving violently and painfully.
We live in a materialistic society rampant with getting ahead. The mark of success is not helping others, not even finding a worthwhile career filled with intrinsic benefits in which we love our work. No, today’s workplace is all about enriching one’s self and one’s own family and friends. Do unto others and then split seems to be the credo of modern-day life. Or, I’ll die with the most toys, so I’ll win the big jackpot. But have you ever seen a U-Haul trailer hooked up to a Hurst? Has all the backbone of our nation’s primary religious binding force, the Judeo-Christian way of living, become toothpick thin and weak? This writer, of course, is not a theologian and he hardly knows what God thinks. Maybe God is pleased with the change. Who knows? Even as cynical and jaded as I can be, I realize, too, that the majority of Americans are decent people who have healthy sexual needs and appetites. And the members of this moral majority also are more than capable of having deep friendships and relationships that enrich and enhance their lives.
From my observations, churches selling some brand of feel good religion where faith is enough are so crowded that they must turn paying customers away. Even the temples where throngs go on Sundays, and even on some days during the week, are stately, ornate, monolithic structures lying somewhere out there in the affluent ‘burbs. Meantime, the dinky and modest church that prays to and worships the God of Consequences where faith without good works is dead is consolidating with another nearby church of the same faith or denomination, or even several other little houses of worship - their parishioner numbers dwindling. The young and even the not-so-young are leaving these long-established institutions for more modern hip religious services, where people sing and pray to some Feel Good God who will rubber-stamp any sort of misdeed, as long as the payoff is good. Unfortunately, tithing is not a big thing in the Absolute power corrupts and for those of us who have never wielded any real power over women in the statehouse, in the news room, or on the Hollywood set cannot really imagine having such influence and dominance. How can the Common Joe condemn those holding seemingly unrestrained and unchecked mojo? Especially for those of us having sexual hang-ups, how can we say we wouldn’t be tempted to entice a pretty young woman to engage in a salacious act to get a job with the company we own, although we actually might not own much of anything?
Most men don’t live in the world of such privilege and impunity in which ruling the workplace is akin to a quid-pro-quo wet dream of smashing the piñata of sexual prizes and subsequent bursting unspeakable delights. Meantime, the Kardashian sisters, talentless bimbos famous for being famoujs, are all about drama and chaos. The K sisters are leading the charge of our young women and girls, bringing dysfunction and drama-diva antics right into our own homes. Right down the street, there is a man who escapes into his man cave after work, who turns on his PC, and watches Internet porn websites in which he pays a handsome sum in credit card fees to keep the smut pumping right into the dark basement of his little abode.
Sexual freedom took a strong foothold in America during the sexual revolution of the 1960’s, and although this social movement has served to loosen up much of the frigidity of preceding generations, like all good things, it has a down side. Even when the WW-II generation was young and frisky, whispers abounded in our suburbs about wife-swapping get-togethers and swingers’ clubs. Am I surprised by all these startling revelations of what a plethora of exploited, abused, harassed, and even sexually-assaulted women have been saying within the course of the past few weeks? No, not in the least. It has come to a head and the news accounts are enough to cause grandpa to start cleaning the attic and lug all those cardboard boxes filled with Hustler, Penthouse, and Playboy magazines to the landfill.
A common thread to each scandal breaking in the news daily is that sure, for years everyone knew Mr. Celebrity or Political Prince was a perverted misfit but all the women who suffered terribly while being in the clutches of this madman were afraid to say anything. Now, everyone is talking. All at once! A guarded secret, dirty and horrid, is now a national scandal! What’s most unsettling is that this media blitz may pass just like the slew of hurricanes that hit the USA, then it will calm down and all will be forgotten. And nothing will change. Scandals where children fall victim should be and must be met with strict punishment. There is no consensual sex when a child is involved. Let’s just call it by its real name: Rape.
But when only adults are involved, I do not consider most of the men in Hollywood, in the higher dominion of the mainstream media, or even in national and high-level state politics, who have found themselves as of late slipping into the quagmire of sexual scandals galore, as monsters. No, I consider them sick men who are a small representative sample of a sick society that for a long, long time, has accepted the behavior they have all been condemned for - and this society has even lauded sick, ugly behavior. What’s wrong with Hugh Hefner having three beautiful young girlfriends who are living in the Playboy Mansion with him? There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that picture, man! What a lucky dog, I wish I was him! I loved that series, The Girls Next Door. Too bad it ended. Too bad old Hugh kicked the bucket.
I think in most cases involve pure addiction. Sex addiction. Yes, most who have been exposed seem to be sex addicts. Sexual addiction brings with it nasty stigmas and ugly labels. If the Congressman had done something lamebrained while he was trashed on a booze bender, his constituency and the rest of America will buy his apologies and find it much easier to forgive him than if he was videotaped in an orgy with three prostitutes.
Meanwhile, many of us look at the significant other involved with the marked one as if she is a fool or a freak. Well, the significant other knows the complete man, who overall, could just happen to be a good man, but when it comes to the sexual realm, this newly shamed titan happens to be sick. Very sick. Yes, perhaps he’s even a true monster. He doesn’t want to be this way, but he suffers from a pure addiction, and pure addictions in which nothing is put into the body to alter moods and emotions are the toughest to kick. Gambling is another example of a pure addiction. It is hard to find good or adequate recovery options to put pure addictions into dormancy or remission, as well. Even recovery centers specializing in treating those suffering from gambling and sexual addictions are few, with the cost of treatment very expensive. Personally, I feel many of the men caught up in the glitz and glitter of the sex trade - whether they be rich or poor, powerful or paupers — are emotionally and spiritual sick. I get no more livid and agitated by their behavior and even their antics as I would be angry about a poor sot sitting in a cancer ward with terminal lung cancer. Sex addiction, some who are addiction experts claim — is a very lonely disease bringing with is utter shame and emotional destitution. Those suffering from sexual addiction are oftentimes confused, troubled, miserable, and extremely depressed. They are hardly “lucky dogs”,
So, let’s not be so myopic in condemning this group, the USA’s current MOST WANTED. Being self-righteous and holier-than-though has no place in such a scenario, either. Such a mindset is certainly not a cure for this wide-sweeping and insidious plague of sexual antics gone awry. Our America has turned into an excellent incubator to nurse hideous sexual addictions galore. An auto worker working on the line and spending a walloping amount of money and a generous allotment of free
time at a strip club is a very sick man, too. So is the lonely construction worker, truck driver, or fracking well operator who spends most of his time away from home. At night he might cruise the red-light district or have escort service prostitutes visit the motel in the town he’s presently working. Looking for a quick sex fix and a cheap thrill, this is hardly a healthy or adequate substitute to the family life he has faraway off somewhere. Not to leave out the young pretty school teacher, a former cheerleader at her private college, who gets caught having sex with middle-school boys and winds up on the local news. In the end, she loses her teaching license, must register as a sex offender for years to come, and most likely will be condemned to spend a few years calling a state prison her new home. So, let’s just cut to the chase and blame our society itself for this problem, not a U.S. President; not a high-ranking Washington, D.C. cabinet member, not a U.S. Representative; not a titan in Hollywood; a famous A-List actor, the handsome face we’ve seen anchoring or reporting the news worldwide for years on end; or a famous and talented professional athlete caught up in the whirlwind of this litany of sexual scandals. Let’s look at things much closer to home. Let’s try to make things right within our homes, within our towns and cities. Not just for the sake of morality, but to squash a laundry list of other byproducts of the sex trade, like gambling, narcotics abuse, robbery, burglary and other criminal acts, not to leave out human trafficking of women, the worst side effect of the underground sexual industry.
No pretty, nubile, young woman changes her job from office manager to escort service hottie overnight. A series of events leads them down this path. A dozen documentaries and hundreds of nonfiction books are available which show the progressive change. One of the most common explanations of this chain of events goes as follows: Nude and topless dancers are usually pretty and normally are social butterflies who are a lot of fun to interact with – even if you just chit-chat with them. Although dancers must be fit, the job is not very demanding and there is a lot of money to be made, particularly in the nocturnal hours and on weekends, for a paltry measly investment of a bit of free time. There is a throng of college co-eds, factory girls, and secretaries who dance naked or semi-naked for strange men who they don’t know and really don’t want to know. It’s a good way to make a quick buck, or a lot of quick bucks, and although some sides of this trade bring hazards and dangers, what began as a somewhat risqué pastime oftentimes evolves into a lifestyle that brings with it horror show effects.
The sad thing is, many of these women – young and not so young – get trapped into this job because it consumes their lives by barely noticeable, insidious degrees. What started off as dancing topless three nights a week when Missy had no morning classes – Friday and Saturday and maybe hump day – turns out to be an all-consuming lifestyle. The drug trade and the sex trade have a marriage of convenience, after all, and what began as a great way to have fun and get a little exercise implodes into a deranged lifestyle, or if you will, let’s just refer to it instead as a death style. Binge drinking turns into lone and morning alcoholic consumption, maybe even shooting opiates becomes a reality, and perhaps even lining up sexual encounters for a high price tag before or after work (or sometimes even during work) over the course of time seems to be a normal way of living. The toughest consequence is that Missy loses all track of her identity and may even fall prey to human trafficking.
Some of these women go for even bigger prize money by selling drugs themselves, or by “acting” in pornographic Internet videos. Meanwhile, a boyfriend or husband in the shadows does not visit the nightclub where his girl works, but over the course of time, the money has gotten so lucrative that working at a fast-food restaurant becomes a ridiculous alternative for the woman he loves. This turns out to not be an easy life but a tough life. Usually, a girl caught up in all of this drops out of college. If she happens to get a college degree, though, even good- and high-paying professions with an entry level openings pale in comparison to the high dollars made in the sex and drug trade. Sadly, many of these women find themselves seemingly unable to escape such a draconian world filled with nefarious pimps, cruel thugs, and organized crime kingpins who look at the sex charmers the same way a factory farm owner considers livestock.
On the flip side is the used car dealer, construction worker, civil engineer, truck driver, or school administrator who clandestinely and surreptitiously frequents sexual candy stores that employ these opportunistic and materialistic sirens. He blows hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars a night sometimes sipping mixed drinks and gawking at the dancing girls, throwing greenbacks with high numbers printed on them in frilly garter belts and getting sweet smiles and naughty whispers galore. He may have a wife or girlfriend that condones his running around because yes, although this is a side of her husband that she really doesn’t like, perhaps that she doesn’t accept whatsoever, he comes home in a happy mood and at least he isn’t in his man cave turning into a hermit. He’s out with people, she may say, at least he’s not like his weirdo brother, who doesn’t go anywhere and drives poor Alice crazy being such a home body. Or, at least he’s normal, what’s wrong with looking at some strange stuff? Or the old standby, at least everyone knows he really likes women. What’s wrong with that?! Or there’s usually another excuse like my hubby might be a little perverted, but my Al has never done something terrible enough to put him on the local nightly news. Yes, the rationalizations go on and on: He’s a great grandad – he never misses one of his grandchildren’s sporting events, the man’s wife might say. Or, he paid for the education of all our kids. He’s really a great provider! Or sometimes you’ll hear: We’re empty nesters now, so what’s wrong with him going to Dames and Damsels Café for a live girly show on Wednesday nights and Saturday afternoons?
Excuses. Rationalizations. Looking the other way. It’s time to put the brakes on this runaway train and start changing the way our men think and act. Not just famous, influential, wealthy men, but all of us. So, let’s own it - objectifying women is not okay. Thinking of women only as sexual vessels is very uncool. Paying for sex is wrong, and in most places within our country, is illegal. Using one’s power and influence to get a sexual favor is not kosher. Much change is necessary to reroute this ugly national problem. For a long time now, society has condoned the unacceptable, even the criminal.