Politically Correct Title |
Apolitical Title |
Nominee |
Secretary of State |
Secretary of Isolation |
Rex Tillerson |
Secretary of the Treasury |
Secretary of Debt Negotiations |
Steven Mnuchin |
Secretary of Defense |
Secretary of Intimidation |
James Mattis |
Attorney General |
Attorney For Electoral Right-sizing |
Jeff Sessions |
Secretary of the Interior |
Secretary of Exploitation |
Ryan Zinke |
Secretary of Agriculture |
Secretary of Agribusiness |
Sonny Perdue |
Secretary of Commerce |
Secretary of Deal Arts |
Wilbur Ross |
Secretary of Labor |
Secretary of the Minimal Wage |
Alexander Acosta |
Secretary of Health and Human Services |
Secretary of Health Cost/Benefit Assessment |
Tom Price |
Secretary of Housing and Urban Development |
Secretary of Homelessness and Urban Hell |
Ben Carson |
Secretary of Transportation |
Secretary of Pavement Maximization |
Elaine Chao |
Secretary of Energy |
Secretary of Coal and Other Stuff |
Rick Perry |
Secretary of Education |
Secretary of Education Stratification |
Betsy DeVos |
Secretary of Veterans Affairs |
Secretary of Veterans Maintenance and Storage |
David Shulkin |
Secretary of Homeland Security |
Secretary of Homeland Anxiety |
John Kelly |
Trade Representative |
Interstate Trade Representative |
Robert Lighthizer |
Director of National Intelligence |
National Intelligence Inspector General |
Dan Coats |
Ambassador to the United Nations |
Ambassador to the Alien Nations |
Nikki Haley |
Management and Budget |
Management, Budget, and Shutdown Administration |
Mick Mulvaney |
Director of the Central Intelligence Agency |
Director of the Central Ignominy Agency |
Mike Pompeo |
Environmental Protection Agency |
Environmental Privatization Agency |
Scott Pruitt |
Small Business Administration |
Chamber of Commerce Ladies Auxiliary |
Linda McMahon |