Oval Office, West Wing
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington, DC 20500
Dear Current Occupant:
Congratulations on your election. I didn't vote for you. Neither, I guess, did the majority of Americans. Which seems strange to me, the US being a democracy and all. Anyway I'm living down in South America and it's taken a while for the news of your election to get all the way down here. JK!! LOL!! We have the internets and the twitters, too, so I'm up on all the things you've already done.
Anyway, I heard you hired Bruce Banner and put him on the National Security Council. Great pick. I think Bruce is one of the more under-rated superheroes. He's tough. He's smart. He doesn't let talking get in the way of action. And he usually fights for the good guys. Thumbs up!!!
But just a word of caution. Bruce gets angry sometimes and when he's angry he gets a little, shall we say, smashy. In small spaces like the Situation Room, that might not be very helpful. I suggest calming music, low lighting.... sorry, hold on a second. My wife is reading this and she wants to tell me something…
What's that? It's not Bruce Banner? It's who? You're kidding, right?...
OK, so... my mistake. I thought I heard Bruce Banner, but it turns out you hired Steve Bannon. That's, um.... That's just messed up. That guy's a flat out racist and white nationalist. You should definitely fire him right away. Otherwise, people will think you're a racist and white nationalist, too. You don't want that, do you?
Sincerely,
A Concerned Citizen
(Editor’s note: If you think that Steve Bannon should not have keys to the Situation Room, let the good people on the Senate Homeland Security Committee know.)