Hiya. Well, to paraphrase the Wasilla Trailer Trash, “How’s that whole ‘Make America Great Again’ thingy working out for ya”? Here we are, in the famed and mythical “first 100 days”. That magic time when a new President rides a wave of congressional comity and popular support, passing his first big ticket items, setting the tone of his agenda for the next four years. We’re at what, about day 87 or so? O.K., so, what are the major accomplishments so far in those idyllic first 100 days.
Lessee. Ummmm. Oh yeah, his inauguration crowd was the biggest in the history of mankind, YUUUGE! Sean Spicer says so, nevermind those “doctored” pictures. And now that he’s officially the Commander in Chief, he can have his goddamn tanks and rocket launchers for his next parade if he wants them, so there! And he’s now got Jared and Ivanka plunked in the White House, in the west wing, with shiny new badges, security clearances and portfolios, forget the fact that they couldn’t find their asses with two hands and a boxing glove, how many other rich, pampered brats get to brag about working there? And Melania is staying in New York to raise Barron, so bring on the girls, the Secret Service will never tell! Where’s my Tic-Tacs? And don’t forget, he signed not one, but two travel ban Executive Orders that the courts have almost unanimously flipped the middle finger to. The boy is on a roll! But what about all those programs and campaign promises?
How about “Jobs, jobs, jobs!”? Off to a flying start there! Have you seen all of the announcements in the media about all the jobs Trump has saved by his masterful negotiating skills with corporations? There are thousands of them,maybe tens of thousands! What’s that you say? Those were all planned and and announced before Trump took office? Fuggedaboudit! They were only kidding, until Das Donald got in and tweeted nasty things about them. And have you noticed that absolutely no corporations are talking about shipping their jobs overseas anymore? That’s because Da Boss will tariff their asses off if they so much as send one paperclip down to Guadalajara.
Serious sidebar here. There’s one thing in this whole pathetic scam about “bringing back jobs”. Job migration doesn’t take place overnight. The US companies that shipped jobs overseas planned those for years. They negotiated deals with the governments involved, got regulatory approval, had the factories and facilities built and the machines in place, the workforce in the process of being trained before the announcement was made, for as seamless of a transition as possible.
Let’s just say that Trump negotiated a deal with the Massive Screw Company to relocate 10,000 new manufacturing jobs back to the US. It would take 2-4 years. Finalizing the government “sweeteners” for the deal, getting state approval and permits, finding and purchasing a site, construction of the building(s), possibly roads, purchasing and installing the necessary machinery to make the products, organizing the internal infrastructure and computer programming. It’s not like Trump stands there in front of the cameras , casting a wolfish smile, and shaking hands with some oily CEO and the next day the “help wanted” signs go out somewhere. And please forget coal. Even the coal companies know that their industry is dying. The world has advanced beyond that fuel source. Hell, it was clear in Chris Hayes’ town hall with Bernie Sanders in rural West Virginia that even the miners and residents know it in their hearts. Their votes for Trump were a desperate pipe dream.
The only quick fix is small business, which is already the backbone of the US economy. But small business is just that, it’s small, it tends to be retail, in an existing space, where things such as shelves and racks and counters can be quickly installed, ready for stocking. Or restaurants, again in existing space zoned for it, ready for the tables, chairs, and kitchen appliances. But those don’t provide the kind of numbers that make headlines. Let’s face it, Trump couldn’t negotiate a better deal with Tubby Tony’s Triple-A Used Cars.
Back to business, what else? Well, there’s that “Big, beautiful wall”, that was always good for a massive frenzy at his rallies. And the best part? “Mexico is going to pay for it”. Except, maybe not so much. The President of Mexico told him to stick it up his ass, the Democrats will shut down the government rather than to authorize one nickel for the wall, and even Trump’s own homeland Secretary admitted to a congressional hearing that there will never be an actual, contiguous physical wall stretching “from sea to shining sea”.
All the rest of it, i.e. legislation. Let’s start with “Repealing and replacing Obamacare”. Piece of cake, it has been the sole priority and fixation of the GOP for the last 7 years. Or was it? It was always a scam, a shell game. The Republicans know the unwritten rule all too well. Once a program is in place, it’s there to stay. It turns out that the citizens like it when the government gives them shit, it makes them feel all warm and fuzzy, like their tax dollars are being used wisely. The only way to repeal Obamacare is to replace and expand it with something even better, and more costly in terms of tax dollars, and that isn’t the GOP goal. Why do you think Social Security, Medicare and welfare are still around? The same thing goes with government departments. On the day they’re established, they become “turf”. You can’t get rid of it, there are employees working there, and “services” to the public, and somewhere somebody rich is making a buck off of its rulings and regulations. Bannon actually has the only realistic solution. Don’t make a big stink, just defund it, gut it, and the last person out can shut off the lights and lock the door. Just ask the residents of Flint Michigan how that hunt for a substitute for drinking, cooking, and bathing water is going.
And good luck with things like tax reform, infrastructure, and all of the rest of that good sounding shit. Sorry, the GOP House of Representatives is closed for repairs. As long as there is a functional Freedom Caucus, nothing major is going to pass the House. If it’s what the mainstream GOP caucus wants, the Tea Party will scuttle it, and the Senate GOP will proclaim it DOA. And if you sweeten it to get the Tea Party on board, the Tuesday Mob will walk away. Ryan could do without one of those two groups, but only with Democratic support, and if he makes the bill palatable enough for the needed number of Democrats to cross over, both the Tea Party and the Tuesday Clowns will revolt.
Welcome to the all new, improved Trump paradise on earth, where the weather is always rainy, and the beer is always warm. Are you sick of winning yet? “Make America Great Again”. Fuck you Donald J. Trump. I mean it, seriously, fuck you.