The FCC and its chairman Ajit Pai are trying everything they can do to create a false narrative that flies in the face of the very sober reality that most Americans believe in—they want net neutrality to continue unhindered. As it has become clearer and clearer that Pai means to roll back the net neutrality rules that were put into place under the Tom Wheeler-helmed FCC, the firestorm of opposition has grown. For his part, like any conservative in big business’s pockets, Pai continues to pretend that every expert and historical precedent is wrong—a “free market” approach allowing monopolistic telecoms to do right by consumers is going to lead us all into an information utopia. Recently, deluged with opposition by the public, Pai and his cronies have taken the Breitbartian tact of saying that all of the opposition you hear about is “fake news,” and in order to do that someone has even set up bots to pretend that people love the idea of ending consumer protections on the internet.
So, last week, Pai and our tax dollars put out a video in order to make light of everything. In an attempt to connect with the kids and their rock n roll music, Pai released “Ajit Pai Reads Mean Tweets,” a play on the popular Jimmy Kimmel late night show segment where celebrities read vicious tweets sent to them and then remark on it. But, Ajit Pai isn’t funny and what he’s trying to do is even less funny. Here are some of the more creepy moments in this theater of craptasm.
Tweet: Breaking new… Ajit Pai sent to jail for treason! American women less creeped out due to lack of Pai’s face around!
Ajit Pai: Well, when I get out of jail for treason, as Matthew McConaughey said, I might be older but they’ll be the same age.
Wha???? Sooooo creepy! The joke he is referencing is Matthew McConaughey’s breakthrough roll in Richard Linklater’s 1992 film Dazed and Confused. McConaughey plays the 20-year-oldish Wooderly, who hangs around the high school kids trying to pick up young girls. In the movie no real judgement is made but the point is, when you’re 17 you might think the older guy hitting on your classmates who has a Mustang is sort of cool, but as you become a 20-year-old you realize that he’s a fucking creepy loser. Good joke, Ajit Pai. This is the face he makes when he says that.
Gross and creepy enough for you?
After a few more laborious attempts at humor, the team that brought you “We are going to get rid of the digital divide by severely limiting broadband subsidize to low-income families” took a great big gulp of product placement cash.
