This just in!
Buzzfeed has obtained video of President Trump strangling and beheading a prostitute in the Lincoln bedroom. This was followed up by a 30-minute video of the President bathing in orphan blood. Understandably, the pushback on this has been quite negative, even from members of the President's own Republican caucus.
Senator Cruz has commented that the prostitute was not really that good looking. Senator McConnell has vented exhaustively (and exclusively!) to the National Equirer: "This sort of off-topic activity detracts from the administration's legislative agenda!".
Not to be outdone, Representative Paul Ryan has proffered that this is "not something I would have done..."
Beleaguered Presidential spokesperson Sarah Sanders has opined that further discussion of this matter is 'not helpful'. Asked what she views as the next step, Sander has humbly requested "everyone's 'hopes and prayers"'...