One of the reasons, and there a many, a fair percentage of the population detests evangelical Christians is because of their hubris. It takes a special kind of narcissist to assume that just because they hold a bible, they have authority to control everyone else. Even atheists could not care less about anyone’s silly superstitious worldview so long as they keep that nonsense to themselves; something the bastardized Christians in the religious right refuse to do on “religious liberty” grounds.
It is bad enough that the evangelical malcontents assume authority to preach, teach, advise and control idiot Republicans who dutifully legislate according to blatantly false biblical dogmata, but now they have set their sights on the United Nations.
It is likely that few Americans are fortunate enough to forget Michele Bachmann. Bachmann was as notorious for her ignorance as she was a certifiable evangelical lunatic on par with evangelical nut job Sarah Palin .
Now though, while Americans don’t have to suffer Bachmann in the House of Representatives, the world’s United Nations’ representatives can look forward to her “preaching and teaching” them to “prepare the world for the End Times.” Seriously, this is how demented the evangelical right has become now that they control the government.
Bachmann’s appointment as “Pastor to the United Nations” was an anointing by ultra-right wing preacher Jim Garlow. Garlow runs a highly profitable megachurch and has led members of Congress and religious right activists in prayer to biblical god to beg his forgiveness for America’s sins. The most recent entreaty was begging god almighty to hold off destroying America because gays can legally marry the person they love.
Last week during his Sunday sermon leading up to a world-shaking announcement, Garlow asked the assembly:
“What if you wanted to disciple all nations and you wanted to reach the whole world? So God did you a favor, he simply arranged so all the world came to one place at one time so you could reach them all at once. What would you call it? You’d call it the United Nations and that would be the most economical way that you could possibly reach the leaders. Skyline’s new pastor to the United Nations, Michele Bachmann.” (Wild applause)
Garlow posted his Earth-shattering news on Facebook announcing how he intended to spread his brand of snake oil, what he calls “a ministry,” to the entire world through the United Nations with Bachmann manning the pulpit.
"Dream with me. Pray with me. Believe with me. What if a great spiritual awakening was inexplicably touched off in the United Nations in New York City? Our Intercession Team is praying/travailing intensely for that! Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann is Skyline Church's new 'pastor to the United Nations' in New York City," he wrote.
For her part, Bachmann started as one expects and attacked the United Nations as modern day “Tower of Babel” whose sole purpose is “bringing about chaos, confusion, deception, delusion, pain.” And she accused the U.N. of raising a “fist against god in pride and arrogance.”
Bachmann said “because the time is short before Christ comes again to this earth (sic), he is giving everyone one more chance.”
It is not immediately clear how, when, or why Christ communicated to Bachmann that he wanted her to offer the world’s nations “one more chance,” but not much Bachmann said ever made any sense at all. She wasn’t finished:
“There was an attempt in the book of Genesis for all of the nations to come together and to raise a fist against god in pride and arrogance. It was called the Tower of Babel, and god dispersed the people at the Tower of Babel. Never again did all the nations of the earth (sic) come together until the League of Nations. That didn’t work out.
Then we have World War II and the U.N was started and it’s been an organization that has had a lot of negative repercussions because it is not under a holy authority of a mighty god and there’s been vain imaginations of a fist again against almighty god.
I don’t know a darker, more deceived place on earth (sic) than the U.N. Because as we saw at the Tower of Babel, that’s probably the last time when we saw all the nations come together in a moment of deception. Their goal has been from the very beginning, the creation of a one-world order; but not a one-world order under the umbrella of the Holy Spirit, a man’s attempt at a one-world order that only brings about chaos, confusion, deception, delusion, pain. And that’s where, rather than cursing the darkness, Skyline Church is about to light a candle.”
Now, this is admittedly nearly as hilarious as it is embarrassing for America. The image of Michele Bachmann attempting to hold a revival at the United Nations to convince the world’s representatives to repent and come to Jesus is beyond imagination.
It will be interesting to wait and see what kind of reception Bachmann encounters from U.N. security forces when she shows up announcing that she is warning the nation’s representatives that “the end is near.” One hopes the police will refrain from taking Donald Trump’s counsel to “rough up” the interloper so she knows she is unwelcome and will never come back. But no-one would be averse to throwing the lunatic in a psychiatric ward for 72 hours for a comprehensive evaluation. Except then she and her religious right whiners would cry foul and invoke the ever-successful “violation of her religious freedom” claim.
As bizarre as this ‘pastor to the U.N.’ fatuousness seems, and it is about as asinine as one can fathom, it is precisely what happens when evangelicals believe they are in control. It is a mystery what Bachmann or her evangelical cohort hope to achieve at the United Nations, but it should be a clarion call to Americans that complete and utter world domination is the evangelical Christian ultimate goal, and exactly why they call themselves “Christian Dominionists.”
Image: Patheos/RightWingWatch