Hispanic Federation Fund for Puerto Rico Relief Link
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From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Today’s Horoscopes for House Republicans
Aquarius
You’re screwed
Pisces
You’re screwed
Aries
You’re screwed
Taurus
You’re screwed
Gemini
You’re screwed
Cancer
You’re screwed
Leo
You’re screwed
Virgo
You’re screwed
Libra
You’re screwed
Scorpio
You’re screwed
Sagittarius
You’re screwed
Capricorn
You’re screwed
HAVE A NICE DAY!
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Monday, January 22, 2018
Note: Due to the government shutdown, this C&J note has been forced to spend the day at home in its bathrobe throwing shoes at Joe Scarborough on the TV. We regret the inconvenience . ---Mgt.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til the midterm elections: 287
Days 'til the Holtville Carrot Festival in California: 11
Final vote among the Los Angeles Times newsroom workers to unionize: 248-44
Percent of vehicle-crash deaths that could be eliminated if the alcohol tax was doubled, according to a report by the National Academies of Science, Engineering and Medicine: 11%
Suggested maximum legal blood-alcohol level the panel recommends nationwide, down from the current 0.08%: 0.05%
Year by which Coca-Cola plans to recycle one bottle for every bottle it sells: 2030
Increase in video gaming sales between 2016 and 2017: 18%
Percent fewer people who watched Trump's inauguration on TV versus Barack Obama's first inauguration: 18%
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Bloodthirsty hounds…
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CHEERS to rackin’ up some serious Fitbit numbers. The weather was mostly cooperative around the country for the women’s marches over the weekend, both yesterday’s Power to the Polls event in Las Vegas and Saturday’s 250+ sister events around the world. Some cities drew more attendees than last year’s event (see some aerial shots here) that delivered a body blow to the newly-inaugurated Trump administration from which it never recovered. And, of course, this year’s signs were priceless…
See more here in SemDem’s post. You could tell the rallies were put on by liberals instead of conservatives. They were peaceful, diverse and organized. The flags represented America instead of Nazi Germany or the Confederacy. They didn’t come dressed in black body armor with guns and shields. And not a tiki torch in sight.
JEERS to shooting yourself in the foot. Well, the hard-core racists in the GOP just couldn’t stomach having the hugely-popular Dream Act included in it, so Friday night they torched the budget bill and here we are. The federal government is shut down. Here are just a few of the reasons why Republicans just dug themselves deeper in the hole:
>> Implementation of their glorious tax plan is now a giant snarled ball of confusion, now that nearly six-in-ten IRS employees are being laid off. Oh, and no tax refunds ‘til further notice.
>> Americans are blaming Republicans for the mess by a margin of nearly two-to-one.
>> Mitch McConnell nixed the Democrats’ proposal to at least keep paying our men and women in uniform during the shutdown. On camera!
>> Republicans want funding for Trump’s glorious border wall, which most Americans (60 percent via Pew) think is a dumb idea. Democrats want an extension of the CHIP program and passage of the Dream Act, which most Americans (90 percent via CBS News) think is a SMART idea.
>> Shutting down the government on the first anniversary of Trump’s inauguration? Brilliant!
>> Trump cheated on wife #3 by having an 11-month affair with a porn actress, who blackmailed Cadet Bone Spurs into paying her a six-figure sum to keep quiet. This has nothing to do with the shutdown, I just thought I’d toss it in as a bonus.
And the kicker: because law enforcement isn’t affected, Robert Mueller’s team has a green light to continue stockpiling evidence and interviewing witnesses in the Russia conspiracy and Trump money-laundering investigation. Bored with all the winning yet?
CHEERS to a quiet little verdict that people hardly ever mention anymore. Roe v. Wade turns 45 today. Pro-choice advocates will mark the occasion with events to remind Americans that women should be in control of their own bodies and that health care decisions should be between them and their doctor, not them and their nearest right-wing legislature.
Anti-choice advocates will mark the occasion by reminding Americans that microscopic bits of blastocyst matter are people too, with full rights including voting and marriage (as long as they're not gay). And the five conservative justices on the Supreme Court will, as usual, mark the occasion by licking their chops. (Respecting precedent is sooooo yesteryear.)
JEERS to invaders from the south. Sure, the Republican party is crawling with racists---it’s literally the only thing that unites them these days. But it’s always a bit jarring to hear that someone turned over a rock up here and found one close to home. This little Trump-loving weaselfuck burrowed his way from Arizona to Pennsylvania, then to New Hampshire, and now Tom Kawczynski is a Maine resident with the title of Town Manager in the tiny hamlet of Jackman. But he might not be for long, after this happened:
Kawczynski, 37, told the Bangor Daily News that he wants to preserve this region’s white majority and keep out Muslims, but rejected the idea that his views are racist, saying that people of different racial backgrounds are welcome in his movement as long as their culture is “rooted in Western civilization.” […]
Kawczynski frequently shares his political views on the website and his personal Facebook page. His posts include calls for the deportation of immigrants protected under the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals [DACA] policy, questions about “why Europeans let Islam run over them” and statements such as, “It’s no accident unattractive women make up the vast majority of feminists.”
On Martin Luther King Jr. Day, Kawczynski wrote: “I’m actually glad not to have today off. #NotMyHoliday”
Responded Maine ACLU legal director Zachary Heiden to Kawczynski’s claim that, no, no, he’s not racist at all: “Wow. That’s shockingly racist.” And when you’ve shocked the ACLU, you’re a candidate for the hall of shame.
JEERS to a stain on America’s soul that we just can’t seem to scrub out. Nine years ago, newly-minted president Barack Obama signed an order that was intended to close the prison at Guantanamo within a year:
"The orders that I signed today should send an unmistakable signal that our actions in defense of liberty will be just as our cause and that we, the people, will uphold our fundamental values as vigilantly as we protect our security.
Once again, America’s moral example must be the bedrock and the beacon of our global leadership."
A bunch of cowards in Congress and state houses---Republicans and Democrats, to our party’s great shame---got the vapors and said no, America isn't smart enough or strong enough to handle those detainees ON AMERICAN SOIL!!! So, nine years later, Gitmo is still open for business, and the president can still have American citizens arrested without probable cause and black-helicoptered there, too, if he chooses. And now it’s even worse: during the government shutdown, no tater-tots.
CHEERS to nimble fingers vs. fumble fingers. If you missed the NFL action yesterday, here's what happened: New England beat Jacksonville 24 to 21, and Philadelphia bossed around Minnesota 38-7. (But don’t feel bad for the losers---they’re going home with a fabulous runner-up prize package that includes a Samsonite luggage set and $100 gift certificate from the Spiegel Catalog.) So it'll be Brady vs. Foles on February 4 during Super Bowl VVVVVVVVVVII. As usual, the winners of that competition will be the Budweiser Clydesdales and whoever's turn it is to have a halftime wardrobe malfunction.
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Ten years ago in C&J: January 22, 2008
CHEERS and JEERS to Nevada. There was a Democratic caucus there on Saturday. And that's all I'm going to say about it because I don’t want the knuckledragger wing of Daily Kos to get so upset by something I say that they come to my house and throw our cat in the deep-fryer. Losing our parakeet to the microwave was hard enough.
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And just one more…
JEERS to selling ad space to make ends meet. I’m really sorry, C&Jers, but I gotta make some extra cash today to pay off my grandma…er, I mean my bookie…that is to say, my bookie, Grandma. So please watch and then convince Mexico to buy one. I get ten cents commission for each sale:
Ron Popeil weeps.
Have a tolerable Monday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
Oklahoma State Sen. Nathan Dahm just filed a bill, SB 1457, that changes a law saying “All candy corn found in the Cheers and Jeers kiddie pool is the property of Bill in Portland Maine.” That’s not right, he thinks. So his bill crosses off those last four words and replaces them with “Almighty God.”
---The Friendly Atheist
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