Hispanic Federation Fund for Puerto Rico Relief Link
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From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Dritt Hull Onsdag
Remember those “America First, [insert country name here] Second” videos that came pouring out a year ago as the world’s versions of The Daily Show trolled the idiot xenophobe who’d just taken the oath of office here? I checked yesterday to see if “totally not a shithole because their people are the right color” Norway had rolled out its own virtual welcome to Cadet Bone Spurs. Sure ‘nuff…
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When told Norwegians were strictly egalitarian, Trump responded, “No problem. I’ll just order McDonald’s.”
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, January 24, 2018
Note: This blog may be monitored for quality-assurance purposes. We're also monitoring your fridge. Don't eat the cottage cheese.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til spring: 55
Days 'til the 14th Reelfoot Lake Eagle Festival in Tennessee: 9
Percent of domestic terrorist murders last year that were committed by white supremacists, according to the Anti-Defamation League: 60%
Estimated number of Americans who are currently addicted to prescription painkillers, according to the DEA: 4 million
Increase in heating costs in Maine since October: 32%
Estimated percent of new vehicle sales this year that will be sedans and SUVs, respectively, according to AP: 34%, 43%
Amount fetched at auction for 2019 Ford Mustang Bullitt #1: $300,000
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Mid-week Rapture Index: 186 (including 3 occults and 1 magical lust-prevention tool). Soul Protection Factor 12 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.
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Puppy Pic of the Day: I wonder if Mexico paid for this wall…
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CHEERS to the further adventures of the faucet that goes drip…drip…drip. Special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation into Russia’s conspiracy to interfere in the 2016 elections by blackmailing the Trump crime family’s patriarch continues at a modest gallup. Here’s a little bombshell that dropped yesterday that you’ll never see on Fox News:
The fiancée of George Papadopoulos, a former foreign policy adviser to President Donald Trump who pleaded guilty to lying to the FBI last year, said there’s a lot the public doesn’t know yet.
“There’s a lot to come,” Simona Mangiante told The Washington Post. “He was the first one to break a hole on all of this.”
She didn’t give details, but said Papadopoulos would be remembered as the John Dean of the Russia scandal.
Meanwhile, a couple related bits of Mangiante’s “a lot to come” came across the wire yesterday with news that former FBI director James Comey and Attorney General Jeff Sessions both spent time under Mueller’s klieg lights recently. Comey reportedly went solo, while Sessions was accompanied by his lawyer and a Keebler-English interpreter.
CHEERS to throwing the bum out. He’s an avowed racist who uses the most incendiary language to proclaim whites superior over people of color, going so far as to tell the NAACP to “kiss my butt” and call Hispanics “the enemy” who deserve to be shot by roving gangs of vigilantes. But enough about Maine Governor Paul LePage. This item is about the town manager in the tiny hamlet of Jackman, Maine (north and west near the Canadian border), who just got the boot after he was discovered wearing his horribleness a little too conspicuously on his sleeve:
[Tom] Kawczynski, who was hired in June at a $49,000 annual salary, started posting his ideas regarding white separatism on his website New Albion in November. The page labels the group as one defending the people and culture of New England, and ultimately called for people of different races to “voluntarily separate.”
He also regularly posts racist, anti-Islamic and misogynistic comments on his Facebook page Gab, a social networking service associated with the far right. He’s used his page to sympathize with Nazis---writing Nazis were not villains but simply nationalists---and call for immigration to the United States to cease.
One meme he shared on his Gab page said, “Leaves are like civilizations. They change color as they die.”
Trying to cash in on the publicity, Kawczynski started a crowd funding account, which as of yesterday had raised a whopping zero dollars and zero cents. Oh, America. Every time I push you away you pull me back in.
CHEERS to the suds of our lives. On January 24, 1935, canned beer made its debut in Richmond, Virginia:
In partnership with the American Can Company, the Gottfried Krueger Brewing Company delivered 2,000 cans of Krueger's Finest Beer and Krueger's Cream Aleto faithful Krueger drinkers in Richmond, Virginia. Ninety-one percent of the drinkers approved of the canned beer, driving Krueger to give the green light to further production.
Why did they feel the need to can beer? It was easier to sneak into church than a keg.
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Gong! Gong!! BuddaBuddaBudda… GONG!!!
This is another edition of The One Word Answer Man. Washington Post columnist Eugene Robinson has a question about Cadet Bone Spurs, aka Lord Dampnut, aka the Greatest Dealmaker In History, Believe Me: “Is he so engrossed in what he obviously views as his most urgent task---watching hours and hours of cable news---that he doesn’t see how he has become marginalized? Is he so dense that he doesn’t realize he’s not being served by friends and supporters, but rather is being used?”
Yes.
Now back to Cheers and Jeers.
Gong! Gong!! BuddaBuddaBudda… GONG!!!
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JEERS to not having a “swell” time. Residents of coastal Alaska were startled awake just after midnight yesterday by an earthquake that flirted with 8.0 on the Andy Richter scale. That was bad enough, but what followed was downright nerve-jangling: a tsunami alert that sent everyone scurrying to higher ground and hoping a monster wave wouldn’t wash their life’s possessions away. (“Save the photo albums and smoked herring!”) A few hours later many sighs of relief were breathed as the alerts were lifted and everyone went back to living their lives. Later in the day, the Palin family confirmed via Fox News that they felt extremely fortunate and grateful that the earthquake didn’t interfere with their regularly-scheduled dead-of-night brawl on the front lawn.
P.S. The tsunami warning for Republicans in Congress remains in effect through November 6th.
CHEERS to great moments in traction. On January 24, 1899, Humphrey O’Sullivan patented the rubber heel. That’s nice, but we’re partial to the steel-tipped toe (and the exposed Republican shin).
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Ten years ago in C&J: January 24, 2008
JEERS to the dream-crusher. News from the GOP presidential primary race: candidate Fred Thompson hung up his jowls yesterday and moseyed back to his home and hearth. So I guess the GOP hope-clingers now have their answer: "No, he ain’t the second coming of Ronald Reagan." But I hear he does a pretty good Paul Harvey.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to the talk of Tinseltown. The Oscar nominations were announced yesterday. Even though some superior flicks (Baywatch, Tyler Perry’s Boo! 2: A Madea Halloween) were snubbed in favor of overrated affairs like Phantom Thread (spoiler alert: Daniel Day-Lewis spends two hours knitting a ski cap for Tom Friedman at Davos), most of the nominations are defensible. And what a kick to see nods for old-timers Christopher Plummer (87), who replaced perv Kevin Spacey as J. Paul Getty in All the Money in the World, and composer John Williams (85), whose nomination for The Last Jedi is his 51st overall and his fifth Star Wars score. (He also scored Best Picture nominee The Post and Kobe Bryant’s animated short nominee Dear Basketball. Not bad.) Also kudos to the Academy for recognizing some fabulous and influential documentaries, including Last Men in Aleppo and Icarus. C&J's entry, Clogging Toward Gomorrah II: Clog Harder, failed to make the cut. I bet they didn’t even watch all eight hours.
Have a happy humpday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
FoxNews ‘Judge’ Jeanine Pirro Stalking Bill in Portland Maine Because She Is Stupid And Exhausting
---Wonkette
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