This is a diary I really wish I didn’t have to write, but I must because I love my daughter-in-law dearly, and I loved the little boys, the sons of my DIL’s cousin, that this diary is about. On December 26th, the day after Christmas, the father of Hunter Chandler went to wake him up for the day, only to find him on the floor in a coma. Hunter was rushed to the hospital, where it was determined that he had undiagnosed type-1 diabetes. The doctors did tests that determined that Hunter’s pancreas had ceased to function some 10 day’s prior. His twin brother, Logan, was then tested and his blood sugar was too high to get an accurate reading, so he, too was admitted to ICU. Over the course of several days the doctors did their best to help the twins and Logan responded well, but Hunter had brain swelling and the doctors gave us little hope. On Dec 30th the doctors informed the family that Hunter was brain dead and there was no hope, and he was officially declared dead on New Year’s day. The grieving parents were determined to donate Hunter’s organs so that others might benefit from their loss. Over the course of several days Hunter’s body was put through the various rituals of this kind of death and subsequent giving of life, and they were able to donate all of his organs except his small intestine. His battle is now over. But his parents’ struggle is not.
Hunter’s parents have other problems, as well. His mother, a recovering addict, is currently clean but is barely on her feet right now. His father was himself recovering from cancer treatments when this tragedy befell them.
Unsure whether they could handle the responsibility of a fundraising page for what they at first thought would be astronomical hospital bills accrued while their sons recovered, Hunter’s mother asked her cousin, my daughter-in-law, to help her find a responsible party to do so. So after consultation with myself and other concerned parties, it was determined that my granddaughter, the most responsible person I know, would do so. Some of you will remember this particular wonder grandchild of mine from this long-ago rage scream I once wrote. No longer a scared but feisty child, she’s grown into a remarkably competent, compassionate, feisty young woman who has trained in the nursing field and now works with physically challenged children. She was eager to help, eager to pay tribute to these young boys she’s always loved. So she set up a YouCaring page that would secure funds to help with those hospital bills. But now those funds will be used to help pay for not just those hospital bills, but the funeral of a child cruelly taken from us.
These parents are poor, their family is poor, their friends are poor. And so what little money that has managed to find its way in that account is from my family and a few friends. This has forced me to come to you, hat in hand, to ask for whatever help you can provide so that young Hunter will be able to be buried. The hospital bills can be dealt with later, but this child needs to be buried now. Hunter’s funeral is set for Saturday morning, but the funeral home will not provide services or bury Hunter without money in hand to do so.
And so I’m doing something I loath more than anything — I’m asking you for whatever small donation you can spare. Trust me, if this were for me I would not be asking, it’s just not something I would do, not for myself. But this isn’t about me, this about a little boy gone too soon that needs a proper burial. Here, again, is the link to the YouCaring page. I’m swallowing my pride to ask you to give what you can. And as an alternative, if you feel you can’t trust such requests, I offer a direct contact with the funeral home where you can call them and make a direct donation in the name of Hunter to assist in his funeral:
Houser-Millard Funeral Directors
If you decide to make a donation using this route, you’ll need to include Hunter’s full name:
Hunter Scott Chandler
Here is a link to his memorial page:
Hunter's memorial page
If the fundraising generates more money than is required for the funeral, my granddaughter and I will make sure the funds go directly to pay the hospital bills of Hunter’s twin brother, Logan. He’s been through hell over the last week, he needs love and support, too. I will write however many follow-up diaries are necessary to keep you updated and informed of how and where your generous donations are used. Transparency is important to us.
Again, this is the last thing I want to be doing, for a host of reasons. But the most important reason of all is this: No parent should ever have to bury their child. No parent should ever have to despair of whether they can afford to bury that child. Please help if you can. Thank you.
Friday, Jan 5, 2018 · 4:14:01 PM +00:00 · Got a Grip
UPDATE: I’d like to thank all of those who have given so generously to help Hunter, Logan and their family. Because of your generosity as of 10 am CST we’ve raised over $3100 and counting, and while several of you have been extremely generous with donations ranging from $100-$250, the vast majority of donations range from $5 to $25. It’s those small donations that truly touch my heart, because I know that those donations come from folks that have no spare change to give, yet you’ve scraped together what you have to help strangers in desperate circumstances. You are the heart of the Daily Kos community, you are the core that makes this place worth returning to day after day. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
I’d also like to thank those of you who recommended this diary, because without eyes on this tragedy, those that have given so generously wouldn’t know there was a reason to give. Those recommends are as crucial as anything to making this happen. And of great value to me are all of you who have commented, expressing sympathy, offering advice and lended support to this effort. You have my gratitude, and my support if you find yourselves in a time of need such as this.
I’d also like to thank those of you who have edited my tags. I see many tags have been added that help get eyes on this diary, tags that show this diary was read and thought was put into how to best promote it. Thanks also to those who reblogged this to other groups. Every one of your efforts has helped immensely.
This place often devolves in the pie fights and screaming fits, hurt feelings and recriminations. But just as often, a tragedy brings this place together and those of good heart and mind rise to the occasion and do something truly wonderful. This is one of those times. I cannot express how much your kind words, helpful suggestions and donations mean to me and mine. Your generosity is breathtaking. I’m so grateful to be part of this community, and humbled by your generosity.
Again, thank you all. I’m not crying, you’re crying...