Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh has been on a perjury tear, lying his way through issues big and small, as Republicans try to ram this impeachable a-hole to the High Court. So here, as a public service, let’s spell out exactly what certain terms that have cropped up in his testimony really mean:
FFFF: Find ‘em, finger ‘em, fuck ‘em, forget ‘em. (It wasn’t how his stuttering friend said “fuck.”)
Devil’s Triangle: Three-way sex, two men and a woman, where the men don’t make eye contact (because that would be “gay”). It’s not, as Kavanaugh brazenly lied under oath, a “drinking game.”
Boof: Anal sex. Kavanaugh claimed it was “fart.”
Renate Alumnius: A group of bros, Kavanaugh included, who claimed to have had sex with an acquaintance named Renate. Kavanaugh claimed that it was a reference of friendly “affection.”
Ralph: Everyone and their brother knows this means to vomit after drinking too much alcohol. Kavanaugh claimed this referred to his “weak stomach” when eating spicy food.
Among more serious lies, these appear trivial, easily explained away as youthful indiscretion. But whatever the reason for his lies—maybe to protect himself against the judgment of the Christian Right?—they are explicit and obvious perjury. The kind of perjury that, on top of all the other perjury, makes Kavanaugh ripe for further criminal investigation and impeachment.
Republicans would be better served trying to get someone else nominated and confirmed for that lifetime appointment. Because if confirmed, Kavanaugh will always be standing on thin ice.