The horrible events in Pittsburgh occurred last Shabbat. This Shabbat, then, is the seventh day to follow (not exactly the end of shiva, but sort of); and it is also the fourth yarhtzeit (anniversary) of a similar massacre in a synagogue in Har Nof (a quiet neighborhood on the western edge of Jerusalem). The question that every Jew had, then, and now, was: how do we respond, as Jews, to events like this?
One of the more famous sayings of Rabbi Shneur Zalman, the founder of Chabad Chassidim, is: “live with the times.” In that, he meant that the week’s parsha (the weekly Torah portion) has something relevant to say to us. And, indeed, this week’s parsha, as well as last week’s, seem to cry out to us with answers. In fact, one could consider this week’s parsha to have one single overriding message: how to overcome a tragedy.
While last week’s parsha had a number of different episodes — Abraham greeting guests, Abraham’s debate with G-d, Lot and the destruction of Sodom, the expulsion of Ishmael, and the Akeida (binding of Isaac) are just the highlights — this week’s parsha has been described has having only two themes: churban and binyan – destruction and building.
The personal churban of Abraham, of course, is the death of his soul-mate, Sarah. And yet the name of the parsha, and the first two words of the parsha, are Chayei Sarah, the life of Sarah. And, indeed, all that Sarah lived for, her family, her legacy, lives on until today.
But it didn’t happen by itself. In fact, at the time of her death at 127 years, it didn’t seem to be happening at all. In terms of progeny, all she had was a quiet, passive, 37-year old unmarried son living at home. So, now what is Abraham going to do? How can he turn this situation around?
The first hint is in the last word of the second verse (23:2), “v’livkosah” – he cried for her. Curiously, in the Hebrew, one of the letters (the chaf) is written small – that’s the way it appears in the Torah. A number of commentators talk about this (but of course!). The most common interpretation is that Abraham mourned, but not excessively. OK, but, so what? The key to that question is found in the following word, the first word of the next verse: “v’yakam.” And he got up. This is an obvious parallel to how we end shiva (the seven day mourning period): on the seventh day, after shacharit (the daily morning prayers), the mourner traditionally gets up from his low chair and will often take a walk around the block. This tells us: it’s time to move on. We’ve had our personal churban, and now it’s time to make something of it, to build.
And so too with Abraham. It’s not always easy. And now he’s got to build this future as a single parent, which has got to be 10 times harder. Tradition tells us that Abraham had ten tests, each more difficult than the last. Some are of the opinion that that Akeida was tenth test, but Rabbienu Yona, a major heavyweight (who wrote monumental works, both in halacha, which appear in the standard editions of the Talmud, and morals and ethics), is of the opinion that this getting up, this task of carrying on and building their dream without his wife, was Abraham’s tenth test.
Clearly, if Abraham and Sarah were to have any legacy at all, then Abraham needed to get going, he needed to to start building a family and legacy. So he finishes mourning, he gets up, and he begins to build the Jewish people. He starts by staking out the first piece of land for our people – making a public purchase of a burial site, the Ma’arat HaMachpeleh in Chevron. Next on the checklist is getting a wife for his son, which is what most of the parsha is about.
And so we see the theme: churban and binyan. Destruction and rebuilding. Looking forward and being constructive.
An episode from last week’s parsha tells us this same message. When the angels take out Lot’s family from Sodom, and tell them to flee to the mountain, they give them one additional instruction – don’t look back. The angels, too, are telling us: after a destruction, we can’t look back, we can’t get stuck or trapped by the past, we need to keep our eyes on our destination, to look forward. But Mrs. Lot in unable to do that, she looks back and is turned to salt. Why salt? Throughout history, salt is used to help preserve foods. Mrs. Lot was stuck in the past, she couldn’t help but look back. Her daughters on the other hand, looked forward, and, indeed, we see that King David, and, then, according to tradition, Moshiach (Messiah) comes from the actions of her daughters. (Of course, I’m not saying we should ignore the past, just that we can’t cling to it at the expense of looking forward).
So, too, with us. We need to build our future, and not be stuck mourning. Parshat Chayei Sarah teaches us Destruction must be followed by Building. Rav Kook, the first Chief Rabbi of Israel, noting that the Talmud tells us that the Temple was destroyed because of sinas chinam (groundless hatred), famously wrote “If we were destroyed, and the world with us, due to sinas chinam, then we shall rebuild ourselves, and the world with us, with baseless love — ahavas chinam.”
Rav Kook says that it is important to note, loving others does not mean indifference to evil and immorality. Our goal is to awaken knowledge and morality, integrity, and refinement; to clearly mark the purpose of life, its purity and holiness. Even if we have an inner outrage at the world’s — and our own — spiritual failures, then we need base our acts of chesed (loving-kindness) on this hidden Gevurah (discipline, judgement, justice). That means, I think, that it’s OK to be angry – so long as we direct it positively. One message might be: we will not be cowed into not being Jews! How do the enemies of the Jewish people fail? We take on an extra mitzvah. We get involved in our communities. We roll up our sleeves and act.
As the Chassidic masters tell us: you can’t beat darkness with a stick, you can only defeat darkness with light. We need to look forward, be positive, take action for the future. We need fight the darkness with light -- to increase our love, increase our mitzvot, get involved (which means, at a minimum, vote and help with GOTV efforts). And with these actions, we can bring G-dly light into this world, become a light unto the nations, and to continue the task of eradicating evil from this world.