When I came home from work yesterday and discovered my laptop had been stolen, I had an autistic breakdown that lasted several hours. I’m still not feeling right, kind of want to hide under a table. It’s like they stole part of my mind. I’m having trouble thinking and I’m probably not writing well. I got lost earlier coming home from work. My roommate was upstairs when it happened. He’d left the back slider open and somebody moved a chair to reach over the fence and open the gate, then just walked right in and took my jewelry box from the bathroom, and my laptop. A very nice policeman came and even took fingerprints. He was not hopeful on ever recovering my computer but it was reassuring to have him come out. Thanks, Eugene PD!
They did steal part of my mind, a very important part. I live maybe 30 to 40% of my life online, feeling connected, feeling a sense of belonging in my community, participating in civic life and doing what I can to help others. Maybe it’s because of my Asperger’s, but I’ve had an unnaturally close relationship with my laptops over the past 25 years. An internet-connected netbook or laptop provides a safe, comfortable way for me to participate in society, to find work and housing and friends. And finding community online has encouraged me to seek it in real life, but it’s much, much harder for me there. I’m still quite isolated in real life. But here, I feel safe.
Most of my writing was safe in the cloud, but I lost three years of books and music and pictures and art. It was a devastating, traumatic event, and I’m trying to be kind to myself and take care, to know it’s a wound that will take time to heal. But I keep remembering and then I get upset all over again. I bought that laptop with the first money I made writing, and it was the nicest one I’ve ever had.
I worry about my mental health, without a computer. We have two recycled-computer stores here, Goodwill and a local org called Next Step. I called them and they have netbooks and laptops from $100 to $400. That’s not a lot. I’m hoping we can crowdfund it. If you can spare it, even $5, every little bit helps. If you use PayPal, my email is leannemnorth (at) gmail (dot) com. Or here is a link. I was already broke due to car troubles (which are ongoing) and Leonard needing the vet (he got a shot and no more itching!) and I have a slipped disc, so I can’t work extra. (Maybe surgery soon.)
I was already planning on writing about my disabled client, “Ed”. He is 56 and has end-stage renal failure. He goes to dialysis three days a week and is not a candidate for transplant. Ed has a lot of other health problems as well. He is a sweet man and does not complain. I try to keep him as comfortable as I can. His friend told me he’s been in much better spirits since he got home care, so I’m helping some. An infection in his neck “chewed up” the bones, according to the doctor, and it has left him in terrible pain. Ed can’t sleep in his hospital bed and stays in his wheelchair nearly all the time. He uses a recliner at dialysis, and says he is able to sleep in that, so I’ve been trying to find him one. I tried his doctor, St. Vinnie’s and Goodwill, some other social service agencies, nobody can help. I checked craigslist and there are lots there, from $60 up to about $150 for the power lift kind, which would be ideal. I’m so sorry to ask for two things at the same time! But I told him I would find a way. I’m hoping we can crowdfund Ed’s recliner five bucks at a time too. Same thing, leannemnorth (at) gmail (dot) com, or the link above. He deserves to be comfortable. I hope when I have come to the end, there will be someone looking out for me. In real life.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart, y’all. Not only if you can donate, but just for being there, 24/7, being the only home I have in this world, standing in as my only family, always there, supporting me. I could never have the words to express what Kossacks have done for me; saved my life, you did. Thank you.
