Since the day our great nation was founded, we have withstood the scourge of billions of illegal interlopers every year. These scoffalaws can’t speak English and don’t even try to learn it, never hold down a job, and ravage agricultural resources in many areas as they pass through.
The avians shiftlessly travel in large gangs (you may have heard the sanitized and benevolent-sounding term of “flock”), sometimes even pooping on the heads of hard-working, patriotic American citizens or into our swimming pools. Worse still, certain species of swallows are associated with notorious coconut smuggling rings. To a one, they are all too lazy to get off their tail feathers and apply for legal status.
Our government has never taken effective action against these illegal migrants, despite the fact that many of them cross our sacred national border several times per year, every year of their lives, thumbing their beaks at our laws every time.
Finally, this unacceptable status quo is about to change.
To understand the important action recently taken by the Administration, first we need to look back at some history.
In the early years of our republic, the government had many big fish to fry, such as taking successive portions of North America away from its prior occupants. It is perhaps understandable that the issue of illegal avians received little attention.
Then, in 1918, the Deep State reared its ugly head, conspiring to aid and abet the uncontrolled movement of these foreigners with the Migratory Bird Treaty Act. Incredibly, this law actually required citizens to harbor migrating avians, and threatened drastic penalties against those who would defend our country against these foreigners.
Since that time, the Deep State has conspired with other deviant forces like the Audobon Society to normalize these behaviors. Did you notice the rainbow of colors on the migration map above? That’s no coincidence, but rather is evidence of an emerging Gayvian alliance to impose their lifestyles on all of us.
The injustice of the Migratory Bird Treaty Act stood for almost a century, until it was reversed in December 22, 2017 ruling by the Department of the Interior. This ruling legalizes action by industries to do their part in controlling illegal avian migration by methods such as uncovered tar pits, oil spills, and other methods that have proven to be effective at reducing the population of illegal avians, in some cases by millions.
Experts have determined that tools such as uncovered waste oil pits are far more effective than other methods. “If you deport them, they just fly back in,” an Administration official explained.
This is just the first of several actions the Administration is planning to take against this scourge. Next up will be a vertical expansion of the breathlessly anticipated Wall, so it will be high enough to intercept the most popular routes used to sneak into our country. It is estimated that a modest increase in wall height to 25,000 feet (from the currently planned 40 feet) will substantially reduce the influx of illegal avians.
Initial plans called for a netting to cover the highest portions of the vertical expansion, but in recent discussions the President, citing a campaign promise, has insisted that 100% of the structure must be a solid wall. Also, a netting may not stop 100% of other illegal invaders such as Monarch butterflies.
Negotiations with Mexican ornithologists about covering the cost of the vertical expansion are underway.
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More info, if you don’t mind reading that left-wing commie site Daily Kos: Diary by Jen Hayden
Bellyaching by the unabashedly pro-bird Audobon Society about the new policy: www.audubon.org/…
High Country News article: www.hcn.org/…
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James R. Wells is the author of The Great Symmetry, a science fiction adventure celebrating the freedom of ideas. The story is set 300 years in the future, but that future world appears to be arriving about 299 years sooner than expected.