Campaign Action
Oh, goody. Dana Loesch has a new show on NRATV. Tremble in fear, famous people who share the majority opinion on gun laws! She’s coming for you! The promo features Loesch, with her hair dyed extra black, wearing black, with black fingernails, standing next to an hourglass against a black background, issuing what she no doubt thinks are extremely scary threats over the sound of ominous background music:
We’ve had enough of the lies, the sanctimony, the arrogance, the hatred, the pettiness, the fake news. We are done with your agenda to undermine voters’ will and individual liberty in America.
(Extreme enunciation of the “t” in “liberty.”)
So to every lying member of the media, to every Hollywood phony, to the role model athletes who use their free speech to alter and undermine what our flag represents.
(Guns. Our flag represents guns. Free speech is a problem.)
To the politicians who would rather watch America burn than lose one ounce of their own personal power.
(Those are the politicians who would rather not see another massacre in a school. Being attacked by an employee of a major lobby group that exists to build political power.)
To the late-night hosts who think their opinions are the only opinions that matter.
(When in reality, Dana Loesch’s opinion is the only opinion that matters.)
To the Joy-Ann Reids, the Morning Joes, the Mikas. To those who stain honest reporting with partisanship. To those who bring bias and propaganda to CNN, the Washington Post, and the New York Times: Your time is running out. The clock starts. [Puts her hand on the hourglass.] Now. [Turns hourglass over as music crescendos.]
This provided another opportunity for Loesch to be owned by a high school student:
The only real question here is whether this can be parodied or whether it’s such effective self-parody that it’s beyond the reach of humorists to do anything additional with it. “Flinty” is probably what Loesch is going for, but her self-regard is so overwhelming that you’d have to add that description to anything else, so it’s like an infinite loop: self-regarding flinty self-regard. And when someone has gone for as obvious a prop as an f’ing hourglass right off the bat, what can you even add? Is the guy who did the voiceover for the Days of Our Lives intro still alive?