Sorry, but I am not in a state to supply a photo just yet, it is still too raw.
We have always been a pet family. Just a few years ago we were hosting 4 dogs, 3 cats and a stray cockatiel. They were a mix of the kids’ pets that they couldn’t take with them, my son’s ex-wife’s dog and cat, and one little three legged kitten that showed up on the doorstop one day. I believe, now that I think about it, only one of the cats was mine. But, of course, they all became family. In fact, we haven’t added a new member since 2008. I knew that we were in for a few rough years since they all were aging and from 11 to 16 years old.
And, yes, over the past three years, it has been hard. Various diseases and old age have forced us to make many difficult decisions. And then we were down to one cat and one dog. And that damned cockatiel.
Well, over the past 6 weeks it became evident that the remaining cat’s difficulty breathing was cancer after antibiotics, antivirals, and other treatments related to his ongoing herpes did not work. And I made the heart wrenching decision to have him put to sleep on Friday. I chose to try to make the decision earlier than later, because I know that I have always waited too long and these family members have suffered longer than necessary as a result.
This guy was only 11 years old and had been my son’s ex-wife’s cat. We inherited him after the divorce in 2008. He hated everything about us for the first year because he was upset and confused. But he became attached to my husband after that, though he allowed me to take care of his needs, and during the last few years would hang out with me and sleep on the bed. He was a great cat.
When his struggles to breathe became extreme and he lost weight because it was difficult to eat and drink, I knew it was time to let go. He would wake me up during the night when he couldn’t breathe and need to be comforted, but he still would be able to lay in the window in the sun and relax every morning.
I realize that I have had at least one cat in my life for the last 40 years. We believe in being a forever home so our friends are with us for many years. We are now down to one aging border collie and that damned cockatiel. (He is called that because he was obviously never hand trained and can not be let out of the cage, though he will allow you to teach him how to whistle show tunes. He still hisses at me when I go over to his cage to feed him.)
It is strange being cat-less. I still haven’t been able to pick up his food bowl and put it away. It would seem so final.
I can’t even fathom what to do now. At my age, if I decided to adopt a kitten I would be well into my late 70’s in 15 years (the average life span of a feline.) Do I adopt an older cat and risk going through again in just a few years. Do I say, “Freedom! Pets are great but I love not having the responsibility!” I know I should wait and see, but this death is hitting me so much harder than the others. Maybe because he was the last one? I don’t know.
What are some of your stories?
Thank you for letting me vent. It was very cathartic.