We’ve all heard the phrase “It takes a village to raise a child”, and it’s true that society has both a vested interest and a shared responsibility in raising children. I’m here tonight to lift up one very special part of that village, a transportation institution known as The Carpool. Please grab your water bottle and take a seat, do not fight over who sits where, and please buckle up and read our sponsor’s brief words so I can start this diary and get going!
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One of the things that isn’t always obvious when you become a parent is that as your child/ren grow older, they have Places To Go! Sportsing To Do! So freeking many afterschool opportunities of all sorts, even if you are a relatively unscheduled and unprogrammed family. And for families who have all adults working outside the home and/or who have multiple children, the driving to/from said Places will be impossible without herculean effort (it apparently is a rule in the handbook all children get at birth that if there’s more than one of you, all activities must be scheduled concurrently and across town from one another).
What’s a parent to do? Enter the village. Or in this case, the village Minivan :-). Over the years I’ve either driven or tossed my kids into vehicles for soccer (mmhm, sweaty cleats!), swimming (ahh, the sweet smell of chlorinated pool water!), church groups and trips, school events, and more.
I most recently finished a stint as primary driver for K2’s winter soccer league carpool. This is the one season where he gets to play with his local school friends, instead of the regional club team, so when one boy’s Mom said her son couldn’t join this season because she couldn’t get him there (cross-competing places to be with two other children’s year-round events), I offered a consistent ride with us every week. As it turned out, over the past four months I drove anywhere from 2-6 boys any week the game was before 7pm. On 7pm game nights, other parents were home from work or usual competing events were over and I got to enjoy a week off. On at least one occasion when we were perilously close to being late and the opposing coach was eyeing our slim bench wondering if this would be a forfeit, our coach said “no worries, they’re all in one car and they’re never actually late.” I was glad not to prove him wrong!
Carpool has been where my kids learned that other parents are either earlier than we are, or later- and now they understand why we strive always for Early. They’ve discovered the many different rules OPFs (Other People’s Families) have in the car, and are grateful I let them choose the music. They learned to be polite to parents, say thank you, and more. They learn about dependability, consistency, and who is good to be in a carpool with and who is sketchy.
Driving carpool has been even better — if you manage it correctly, they forget you’re there and talk unguarded with one another. It’s where I learned who my kids sit with at lunch, what they REALLY think of their teachers, and who is dating whom (I had NO idea my son had dated three people, which in middle school parlance that means talk to and maybe sit with at lunch).
What it’s also done is bind the particular groups of kids, and parents, involved in each carpool into a mini-community. The logistics of who drives when requires communication that simple solo driving does not. You learn who travels on business regularly, whose kid is sick so can someone else drive, and who is dependable or less so.
My google calendar rivals any logistics expert’s as I juggle our schedules and those of our spring soccer carpool (oh hey, family A can drive this day but never that day, except two weeks from now because vacation. And this family has parents living in two places so tuesdays we go here and thursdays we drop off there). I wouldn’t have it any other way.
We’ve arrived at our destinations, please let the folks in the third row of the minivan out, put the seats back upright when you’re all out so they don’t slide around, and does everyone have all their stuff? You’ll need it as you move to what we’re really here for- the trio of Top Comments, Mojo and Pictures that bring us all together every night. My co-driver today is the utterly wonderful BeninSC. I’d include him in my carpool roster anytime!
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Top Mojo ala mik!
For Monday, April 9, 2018, first comments and tip jars excluded. Thank you mik for the mojo magic! For those of you interested in How Top Mojo Works, please see his diary on the subject.
Top Pictures
2018-04-10, courtesy of jotter!
I want to extend a very special thanks to Jotter tonight — he is the reason we have a Top Pictures, and some behind-the-scenes work has made it easier and even faster for us to bring it to you every night.