If you’ve been wondering, here’s how you can succeed in business, politics, and obstruction of justice just like Donald J. Trump.
First and foremost, you would have to have no moral compass because if you did, you would never be able to:
- Be a smooth talking sleazebag who doesn’t care a whit about anyone or anything but yourself.
- Be pathologically driven to be the center of attention at all times.
- Be unfaithful to multiple wives and unashamedly brag about sexually assaulting women.
- Happily make money by blatantly stiffing people who work hard to build your business.
- Feel no sense of obligation to the thousands of people whose lives were turned upside down because your incompetence drove your Atlantic City casinos into bankruptcy.
- Be so greedy that you would come up with a con to systematically steal millions of dollars from thousands of people who put their trust in your sham-university.
- Demand the death penalty for young black men falsely accused of a crime in Central Park even after their innocence was proven.
- Gleefully arrest, lock-up, and deport thousands of husbands and wives and mothers and fathers because you have absolutely no regard for the integrity of the family unit.
- Be so pathetically insecure that you would exuberantly name-call, demean, and humiliate anyone and everyone who dares to disagree with you.
- Be so hateful as to purposefully try for years to destroy the personal, professional, and political reputation of your predecessor by attempting to con the world into believing that he is an alien who should never have been elected to the highest office in the land.
- Be so afraid of the world finally finding out just how crooked you are that you would blatantly obstruct justice by demeaning, lying about, and then threatening men and women who’ve devoted their lives to protecting Americans from swindlers like you.
- Believe that President Dwight Eisenhower was wrong.
Right?