As charges and counter charges surrounding Rear Adm. Ronny Jackson’s withdrawal as President Trump's nominee to lead the Department of Veterans Affairs, what has gone largely overlooked are the actual results of the physical examination he conducted. Going over these results, there is one we found notable: the president’s cranial circumference, commonly referred to as “hat size”. It appears to be abnormally large.
Looking for answers, and figuring who might have some history with this measurement, we sent our reporter to interview Izzy Epstein, the president’s personal tailor, at his shop on the corner of Seventh Avenue at 39th Street, in New York City.
“Oh yes, no question about it,” Mr. Epstein told our reporter when asked about the president’s measurements in hat size. “He’s got one big noggin. He don’t normally wear hats, and I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but it’s gotten even bigger since he first asked us to make a model for his Make America Great Again cap. That one was a 7-3/8. Fit perfect. But he was in just last month ‘cause it don’t fit no more, can’t make the straps work. Wanted a new one. Measured out at 7-7/8, close to a 8. His noggin grew.”
“Big headed fool! The man’s gettin’ a big head!” Izzy’s son, Milton, shouted from the back room. “Just listen to how much he thinks of hisself! Never stops braggin’. Now he’s gone and made his head bigger from all of it. Serves him right!”
Our reporter was quickly ushered from the shop by Mr. Epstein after that, and the interview ended.
But the young Mr. Epstein got us to wondering, is there any verifiable scientific research to link hat size with human behavior? Other than excessive weight gain, use of HGH (human growth hormone) or a clinical determination of macrocephaly (abnormally large head circumference) all of which assuredly would have been noted in Dr. Jackson’s report, we could find none.
Additionally, we only have Mr. Epstein’s report to go on, that the president’s hat size is growing. And we at CNS can find no research on the question of whether constant bragging can result in increased cranial size. Becoming “big headed”, as young Milton said. We merely suggest, if one was interested, you may not be able to find a better “patient zero” candidate for research into the matter.
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