From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Hey Everyone!
Don’t show this to Donald Trump
or he’ll have a great big hissy fit...
Americans, by a wide margin (56 percent to 37 percent), think Barack Obama was a better president than Donald Trump has been, according to a CNN poll of adults released this week.
---FiveThirtyEight
Remember: Shhhhh. Not a word.
Or he’ll be really mad.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Monday, May 14, 2018
Note: Seinfeld went off the air twenty years ago today. This thought makes my joints ache.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til the midterm elections: 176
Days 'til the Birding Festival in Maine’s Acadia National Park: 17
Rise in consumer prices in April: 0.2%
Number of Ford workers temporarily laid off since a May 2 fire at an auto supply parts factory: 7,600
Date of the Trump-Jong Un summit: 6/12/18
Expected increase at the box office this year due to a huge slate of summer blockbusters: 18%
Percent chance that “hiring Michael Cohen was a major mistake,” according to anyone who has ever hired Michael Cohen: 100%
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Greatest doggie selfie ever???
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JEERS to a hot and tense situation. Whoa---things are getting really bad in the wake of the latest volcanic eruption. I’ve read the harrowing coverage, and it’s hard not to feel bad for the folks in the affected area. We’re talking major fissures, blasts of hot air, sparks flying, people fearing for their safety and doing everything they can to get out of its way as they await what’s next to come out of that giant toxic hole of fire and fury. But enough about Trump’s tirade against Kirstjen Nielsenfor not harshing on undocumented workers with the requisite amount of Right-wing sadism. I hear the Hawaii volcano is pretty scary, too.
JEERS to destruction by a dotard in a China shop. With a brand-new week upon us, let’s check in and see how Cadet Bone Spurs’ tariffs are going as the sun rises in Trump country. Remember: he only enacts the greatest policies, which work very, very quickly, and beautifully, and you’re going to love it so much, believe me, oh you’re gonna be bored with all the winning:
Retaliatory tariffs China is threatening against U.S. exports would hit hardest in states that helped propel Donald Trump to the presidency, bringing home the risks of a trade war ahead of midterm elections.
Of the 10 states that face potential Chinese tariffs on more than $1 billion of their exports, seven backed Trump in 2016, according to a report by the American Action Forum, a Washington-based group that opposes protectionist trade policies. […]
A separate study by the Brookings Institution in Washington found that about 81 percent of the counties whose workforce will be affected by Chinese retaliatory tariffs voted for Trump. About 1.1 million jobs in counties that backed Trump would be affected, according to the report.
I think the conclusion is obvious: this is all Hillary’s fault.
CHEERS to getting outside in the fresh air (back before Scott Pruitt took away all our fresh air). 214 years ago today, Lewis and Clark set off from their camp in Illinois to go explore just what the hell kind of territory we'd acquired in the Louisiana Purchase. Their first words when they got back: "Somebody needs to invent GPS, and somebody needs to invent GPS now!" Added the welcoming committee: "And deodorant."
CHEERS to voting ther bums in. It’s been awhile since we checked in with our 51st state, formally known as “The Eye-Rack.” To get you up to speed: in 2003, under the falsest-of-false pretenses promoted by the Bush II administration, we threw our military into it, tossed Saddam Hussein out, created a quagmire to the tune of over $2 trillion and hundreds of thousands dead and wounded, learned that we had become a nation of torturers (Hello, Abu Ghraib!), seeded the rise of ISIS, left in 2011, and watched as the country became super-duper friends with Iran. Whew! That did not go as advertised. Well, you’ll be glad to know that the Eye-rackians did learn one habit from the United States, which was on full display over the weekend:
Iraqi officials had worried that security concerns would keep voters from the polls. But as polling centers closed, it was apparent that many voters stayed away from apathy rather than fear.
With more than 90 percent of the votes in, Iraq's election commission announced voter turnout of 44.5 percent. The figure is down sharply from 60 percent of eligible voters who cast their ballots in the last elections in 2014.
"It's very little. Most of the people who came to vote are the elderly and women," said Khaled Abdul Satar Jabar, the head of a polling station in the Iraqi Shiite neighborhood of Kathamiya. "In the past there were long lines of voters---people came in groups. Now they come as individuals." "Young men feel there's no change," said Jabar. "Most of these candidates mock people with their corruption."
Welcome to American-style democracy, folks. Glad we could help!
JEERS to today’s edition of "Not Helpful." Our Monday entry comes courtesy of Politico Playbook:
YES, guys like Michael Cohen routinely get paid amounts like $1.2 million to offer insights about their boss or former boss. Yeah, it's crazy. But many readers of this newsletter would not have their McMansion in McLean, their BMW, their membership at Army Navy, second homes in Delaware, cigar lockers and endless glasses of Pinot Noir at BLT Steak and Tosca if that kind of stuff didn't happen. Newsflash: $1.2 million is not even a rounding error for massive corporations.
This has been today’s edition of "Not Helpful."
CHEERS to the original Jedi Master. George Lucas turns 74 today---I believe that's 446 in Yoda years. Yes, I wish he hadn't messed around with the first three movies years later. And, yes, I wish the second trilogy had been better. But, good lord, he also gave us Indiana Jones, American Graffiti, and the creepy classic "dystopian future" thriller THX 1138. Plus he recently poked his NIMBY zillionaire neighbors in the eye by financing a 224-unit affordable housing complex. Besides all that, the Imperial Walkers in the Battle of Hoth are still the coolest things I've seen in any movie ever, and they still top my wish list for Santa so I can finally help the rebel alliance win the War on Christmas:
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My gift to George: about half of my lifetime earnings in movie tickets, action figures, trading cards, DVDs and comic books since 1977. His gift to us: turning directing duties for the new Star Wars movies over to a new crew, the latest of which is Ron Howard (“Solo”). May the Force be with him in 10 days. From the early buzz, that won’t be a problem.
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Ten years ago in C&J: May 14, 2008
CHEERS to the enemy of my enemy. Former congressman Bob Barr has entered the presidential race as a candidate for the Libertarian party. For the record, I think a lot of what he (and, for that matter, Ron Paul) says makes sense, especially on government intrusions into our privacy. On the other hand, stripping the government down to a handful of janitors and a desk clerk is just plain dumb. Meanwhile, the right-wingers are not thrilled with Barr, as evidenced by this headline at conservativeintelligencer.com: “Need This Like A Hole In The Head.” Hey, don't knock it 'til you try it...I hear it helps drain the stupid.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to today's reminder that we're all just microscopic specs of dander on the universe's butt. Pics from space bring on two simultaneous yet diametrically opposed emotions: smug superiority at being able to develop the technology to see things billions of light years away with crystal clarity…and mind-numbing inferiority because our cosmic neighborhood is so awesomely huge and yet the farthest we've ever been able to personally venture is our own moon. So, with that in mind, bask in a pair of recent Polaroids from the supergeeks at NASA, whose web site is the the most Zen place on the tubes:
I call dibs on the 87th planet from the left---the one with the chocolate crust and creamy center.
Have a tolerable Monday. Floor's open...What are youcheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
“Cheers and Jeers is just an awful combination of Olympian snobbery and Kiddie Pool weisenheimer.”
---Charles Pierce
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