Donald Trump had a lot to say Wednesday about his newly minted term for the embedded spy that never was, 'SPYGATE,' the investigation he demanded into the make-believe scandal, and his firing of former FBI Director James Comey. In fact, if you look at Trump's answers to the questions posed by White House reporters from the pool report, they're the mirror image of himself and his own mountain of scandal projected on to everything and everyone else around him.
So below, I have taken the liberty of reimagining some of the questions as Trump-Russia centric (instead of being focused on SPYGATE) and substituting several words in for Trump's responses to the queries.
Alternative question: What proof is there that your campaign colluded with Russia?
THE PRESIDENT: All you have to do is look at the basics and you'll see. It looks like a very serious event. But we'll find out. When they look at the documents, I think people are going to see a lot of bad things happened. I hope it's not so, because if it is, there's never been anything like it in the history of our country. (nothing changed)
Alternative question: Donald Trump says "collude" is the wrong word.
THE PRESIDENT: I think [Donald Trump] has got a lot of problems. If you look at what at he did, if you look at all of the lies -- the tremendous lies -- if you look at all that's going on, I think [Donald Trump] has got a lot of problems. [...] If you look at what he said -- all of the lies, all of the fiction -- I think he's got a lot of problems. (Donald Trump switched for James Comey)
Alternative question: Who do you think was responsible for the colluding?
THE PRESIDENT: Well, I don’t want to get into yet, but I will tell you — [...] I think it's going to be pretty obvious after a while. (nothing changed)
Donald Trump has always had an epic knack for lying in order to distract people from the truth. But the hyperbolic “scandals” he is now concocting for consumption by his base are tellingly realistic—the only difference is, he’s cast people besides himself as the villains in his fantasy dramas.