After reading Donald Trump’s letter to Kim Jong Un today in which he announced the cancellation of the June 12th summit, it read as if it had been heavily edited by staff members. Here is how the first draft likely went, based on Trump’s past hot and cold relationship with Kim:
My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I
Got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window
And I can't see at all
Dear Kim, I wrote you about the summit but you still ain't callin'
I thought you wanted this summit, but I feel like you’re stallin’
I sent two letters through Pompeo, you must not-a got 'em
There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin'
Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em
But anyways, what's been up? How’s your country, are people still starvin?
That’s just a joke haha, I don’t care about my people either
My girlfriend's pregnant though, I'm bout to be a father again
Nah just kidding, why do you think I paid Michael Cohen?
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back
Just to chat, truly yours, your biggest chum
This is Trump
My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I
Got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window
And I can't see at all
Dear Kim, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance
I ain't mad, I just think it's f’d up you don’t answer man
If you don't wanna talk to me outside the summit
You didn't have to, but you coulda sent me an autograph for Barron
That's my little son man, he's only twelve years old
You know the song by Phil Collins, "In the Air of the Night"
About that guy who could a saved that other guy from drowning
But didn't, then Phil saw it all, then at a show he found him?
That's kinda how this is, you could a rescued my presidency from drowning
And all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call
You didn’t really have to end your nukes, we were just gonna put on a show for em’ all.
I love you Kim, we coulda been together, think about it
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it
The summits off b*tch, and we no longer tight-
But If you change your mind, please do not hesitate to call me or write-
You friend,
DJT
P.S Peace and good night