I am proud of who I am...both being Jewish and being gay. But, and this might come as a surprise to some of you..there are some folks out there who find in me a double opportunity to be hated.
I have, of course, experienced anti-Semitism and Homophobia in my life. Lord knows how many gay “jokes” I’ve heard and when I came out in the 1980s in High School suffice it to say it was not a fun time. The thing is, most people, gay or straight, when they meet me do not identify me as teh gay, especially as I’ve gotten older. Now that I am in my late 40s I do not encounter much homophobia as I live in an isolated environment (Assisted Living Facility) where one’s sexuality is non-existent.
The last time I experienced anti-Semitism in action was about 7 years back. I went out to dinner with a friend, her dad, and the dad’s current girlfriend. During the conversation the girlfriend all of a sudden started in how she had to “Jew someone down” I was too shocked to say anything at first. But then I told my friend how shocked, pissed, and hurt I was. She talked to her dad who apologized to me.
Fast forward to this year. Within 2 weeks I have encountered both forms of prejudice again.
One of my caregivers who I had been close to, is a member of a very, very religious African American church. She always brings up religion and how we’re brothers to one another, etc. At the same time she is always asking me how one cannot accept Jesus as the son of G-D, that all Jews, etc., that don’t are going to hell, etc. When I present her with in-person discussion points as to why Jews do NOT accept Jesus as the son of G-d she goes a little insane, not arguing the points but basically saying it “is” the truth.
We got along though, for the most part as I just ignore it when she goes into religious discussions like the above. But yesterday we were out to lunch and I mentioned I would be seeing my best friend since forever (He now lives out of town) and his husband. She has met my best friend and liked him a lot. She used to always ask how he was doing, etc. But when I mentioned what I did her eyes went crazy and she kept saying I should repeat myself cause she must have misheard me. When I did she said I must be thinking of someone different than she was. When I assured her she freaked out. It was not the whole marriage thing rather it was teh gay thing. She told me how wrong being gay is, etc. She also has met my relative (Sorta a relative, he is the cousin of my aunt) and HIS partner many times. They own two homes, have been together for 30 years, and she loves them. BUT she has no Earthly idea about them, or me for that matter. If she did find out she would flip.
Then one of my other caregivers is fine with gay folks, but she does not really like (Not *actively* dislike) Jewish people. She would constantly make jokes about Jewish people, you know the old stereotypical type things. She even did it in front of my sister a few times. But at the same time sheis “friends” with Jewish people but she still believes we all have money, etc...and though she “jokes” about it, you can tell how she feels underneath the jokes.
Both came to a head within the last week. I guess in this day and age I should not be surprised that people are more open with their “views” but to get both within a few weeks of one another just shows me how hate and ignorance still exist. I see everyday either in person or in the news anti-black or anti-Islam ignorance and hate, but not first-hand directed towards me or “my groups”
ALL forms of discrimination, prejudice and hate are evil.
I do not blame it on a religion, or one’s ethnicity.
Rather it comes down to ignorance, even when people chose to be ignorant.