Donald Trump tweeted this morning about his thrill that Fox & Friends was filming right there, on the lawn of his very own little White House. And so, he announced in advance, he decided to make an “unannounced” visit. Fox hosts behaved dutifully shocked by the visit—in the same way that one feigns surprise when playing peek-a-boo with an infant—and then Trump did what Trump does … talk so long that even Fox had to literally cut him off. That forced Trump to continue wandering randomly across the grass, lying to whoever would come close enough to ask a question.
Trump: Manafort had nothing to do with my campaign.
Asked about today’s court hearing for Paul Manafort, Trump once again went the “coffee boy” route, declaring that Manafort was only on the campaign “a very brief time” which Trump pegged at “45 days.” Manafort actually began working with the Trump campaign in February of 2016, became his convention manager on March 29, was running the whole campaign by April, and was promoted to campaign chair on June 21. It wasn’t until August 17 that Trump started easing Manafort out after news reports on Manafort’s ties to Russian agents in the Ukraine, though Manafort remained both campaign chair and chief strategist. Finally, on August 19, he left. So … 143 days as a formal top-level member of Trump’s campaign in the heart of 2016. Fifty-nine days as the actual campaign chair.
Trump: The Democrats forced that law upon our nation. I hate it. I hate to see separation of parents and children.
Asked about the separation of children from their parents at the border, Trump continued to cite an imaginary law that was “forced on the nation” by Democrats. He continued emphasizing the power of those darn Democrats saying that “Democrats are in control” and that Sessions is only “following laws that were forced upon us by the Democrats.” But, somehow, never explained what that law might be, or why it was now being enforced so harshly for the first time—though he did insist that if the Democrats would only give him everything he wants on immigration, including getting rid of diversity visas, cutting legal immigration, ending family reunification and of course billions for a wall—this little problem with the children could be ended “beautifully and immediately.” In other words, they’re not children cruelly separated from their parents. They’re hostages.
Trump: I don’t want to see a nuclear weapon destroy you and your family.
Asked why he was so willing to ignore hundreds of thousands of deaths under Kim Jong Un, and treat casual assassinations as just “running it tough,” Trump’s response was that he loved on this dictator for you. For you. He did it because the only possible alternative was nuclear bombs falling from the sky. Trump repeatedly insisted that President Obama had told him that North Korea was our biggest problem, and that “everyone expected nuclear war.” And now “I have solved that problem.” The fact that a nuclear war with North Korea was somewhere around 432 on most people’s list of concerns until Trump started tweeting about “fire and fury” did not come up.
Several reporters tried to ask Trump about how he could make such claims when the agreement that he signed contains not a single deadline, or even guideline, but is actually weaker than previous documents signed by the North. Trump first accused reporters of not having read the document, which he called “an incredible agreement.” Then he followed up by insisting that it was an agreement where “we get everything” and North Korea gave up on “point after point.” Asked about details, Trump continually returned to the claim that the return of US servicemen remains was a great victory, “something no one thought we would get.” Trump also said that Kim would be returning “7,500 remains” and insisted, three times, that he had been asked to get the remains back by “parents and fathers” of the vets who fought in a war which ended 65 years ago.
According to Trump, his agreement with North Korea was so great that “People were crying in the streets, they’re so happy.” But he ended by saying it wasn’t the agreement that was important anyway. It was “his relationship with Kim,” that was important. Trump insisted that his relationship, with both Kim and Chinese Communist Party Chair Xi Jinping, meant that he had done what no one else could do—deliver peace.
Trump also insisted on his time travel skills, saying that because of his meeting with Kim, there had not been a missile launch by North Korea in seven months. In 2017, North Korea launched 23 missiles, including its first intercontinental ballistic missiles. The final test in November was of a rocket that included a mock up of a nuclear warhead and had enough range to reach the United States mainland.
Trump: He's the head of the country. And I mean he's the strong head. Don't let anyone think anything different. He speaks and his people sit up at attention. I want my people to do the same.
But just because Trump was talking to Kim to save Americans from the missiles, doesn’t mean he didn’t admire the guy! Trump did not make it clear how anyone can “sit to attention.” Asked about this by another reporter on a later part of his stroll, he passed it off as “sarcasm.”
Trump: The inspector general report totally exonerates me.
Trump spent a good part of the stroll attacking James Comey as “the worst leader” the FBI ever had, and calling the actions of both Comey and other agents at the FBI “criminal.” Trump also insisted that the report released on Thursday by the FBI inspector general showed there was “no collusion and no obstruction.” Several reporters tried to point out that the report said nothing about either topic, but Trump insisted that the report showed that the FBI was biased. While talking with Fox, Trump praised much of the report, and cherry picked attacks against agents who had made “hostile” comments, but then he insisted that the conclusion of the report was wrong. That “of course” there was bias. Pressed about whether Comey should be in jail, Trump said that he thought Comey’s acts were criminal before returning to the ultimate closing line on the topic “And look at all the things crooked Hilary did.”
Trump also insisted that “He had the FBI” and that if a poll was done of “the real FBI,” he would prove very popular. He then went on to call the IG report “a horror show” for the FBI, and returned to insist that the same bias was present in the Mueller investigation where there are “Thirteen angry Democrats and people who worked for Obama for eight years and no Republicans.”
Trump: I think it’s been very unfair to General Flynn. Who … maybe he didn’t lie.
Asked about Michael Cohen, Trump went into a prolonged rant on the unfairness of the Mueller investigation. About how wrong it was to go into someone’s lawyer’s office on a Saturday morning, saying “What if they did that to Obama’s lawyer?” and speaking at length on how unfair it was to Paul Manafort that the investigation had turned up crimes from his past. But perhaps most bizarrely, Trump repeatedly returned to Michael Flynn who pleaded guilty to lying under oath, and eventually settled on a statement that Flynn might not have lied at all.
And … why was it that Trump fired Flynn from his role as national security advisor?
"The president was very concerned that Gen. Flynn had misled the vice president and others," Spicer said.
But maybe not, says the man with the “best memory in the world.”
Overall, Trump’s morning stroll was so laden with lies on every front—from North Korea, to immigration, to the inspector general report—that sorting them out will take a transcript, footnotes, three color highlighting and maybe the assistance of those two guys whose full-time job it is to tape back together Trump’s torn papers.