Seems that the president has some concerns about pardons, being pardoned, and most important, the understanding about pardons held by his political base. In the Skinnerian method of conditioning his subjects by repetition of the stimulus, he’s looking for chances to make “pardon” part of the nightly news. He just pardoned Jack Johnson, for example, doubtless because Sylvester Stallone asked. Kim Kardashian just weighed in to get him to pardon Alice Marie Johnson. Neither of these individuals is a cause célèbre for the American public, but issuing pardons is something Trump can do when he’s
A) in need of public displays of executive power;
B) frustrated with Congress;
C) frustrated with due process, evidence, and the legal system; and most important (again),
D) desperate to get himself and his apparent co-conspirators out of the jaws of the Mueller investigation.
So on behalf of Daily Kos, not to mention for the entertainment value of the Trump Administration, your suggestions for pardon candidates are hereby welcome. Here are mine:
1. Willie Sutton — Because hey, if the banks didn't want to be robbed, they shouldn’t have kept the money there.
2. Richard III, King of England — Rumors and accusations aside, nobody’s ever convicted him on that whole murdering his nephews rumor; and anyone who was buried for 500 years under what ended up as a parking lot has to have paid his debt to society.
3. Martin Brest -- The man made Beverly Hills Cop and Midnight Run, people. Pacino won the Oscar for Scent of a Woman. They were practically printing his face on the $100 bill in Tinseltown. Then he made Meet Joe Black and Gigli. After those two steaming lawn sausages, they were practically printing his face on 1000-sheet rolls of Charmin. Since when has burning down your own reputation been a crime in Hollywood? The Donald needs to resurrect him to do The Art of the Deal.
4. Joe Hazlewood — Captain of the Exxon Valdez, responsible as the Captain for about 11 million gallons of oil, into Prince William Sound; maybe or maybe not a couple sheets to the wind in his stateroom when the accident happened; and convicted of a misdemeanor charge of negligent discharge of oil, plus a fine of $50,000, and (brace yourself) to 1,000 hours of community service. He’s had trouble finding steady work. Given the way Trump wants to revive fossil fuels, maybe bringing the Skipper back would make a statement. Trump guides the ship of state like a drunken sailor, right? Why not Joe?
5. Jack the Ripper — A tough one, given that we don’t know who he was, and we do know he wasn’t a U.S. Citizen; but let’s judge the man by his actions. Who did more to make the streets of Whitechapel safe from STDs and immorality than Saucy Jack?
That’s my short list. Add your own! Nominate yourself, if you like. Trump will understand that.