It’s Moondai! Let’s resume more mischiefery with the mashery of Ogden Nashery!
Song of the Open Road
I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree
Indeed, unless the billboards fall
I'll never see a tree at all.
Maybe not, but you have to admit this is a pretty pawsome billboard!
(Parenthetically, here is the link to GiveThemTen.org — promoting 10 lives for the pooties!)
Winter Complaint
Now when I have a cold
I am careful with my cold,
I consult a physician
And I do as I am told.
I muffle up my torso
In woolly woolly garb,
And I quaff great flagons
Of sodium bicarb.
I munch on aspirin,
I lunch on water,
And I wouldn’t dream of osculating
Anybody’s daughter,
And to anybody’s son
I wouldn’t say howdy,
For I am a sufferer
Magna cum laude.
I don’t like germs,
But I’ll keep the germs I’ve got.
Will I take a chance of spreading them?
Definitely not.
I sneeze out the window
And I cough up the flue,
And I live like a hermit
Till the germs get through.
And because I’m considerate,
Because I’m wary,
I am treated by my friends
Like Typhoid Mary.
“I’b dot cobbig out uttil I feel bedder”
Now when you have a cold
You are careless with your cold,
You are cocky as a gangster
Who has just been paroled.
You ignore your physician,
You eat steaks and oxtails,
You stuff yourself with starches,
You drink lots of cocktails,
And you claim that gargling
Is a time of waste,
And you won’t take soda
For you don’t like the taste,
And you prowl around parties
Full of selfish bliss,
And greet your hostess
With a genial kiss.
You convert yourself
Into a deadly missle,
You exhale Hello’s
Like a steamboat wistle.
You sneeze in the subway
And you cough at dances,
And let everybody else
Take their own good chances.
You’re a bronchial boor,
A bacterial blighter,
And you get more invitations
Than a gossip writer.
“Gerbs? I boast certaidly ab dot spreading by gerbs, darlig!”
Just Keep Quiet and Nobody Will Notice
There is one thing that ought to be taught in all the colleges,
Which is that people ought to be taught not to go around always making apologies.
I don't mean the kind of apologies people make when they run over you or borrow five dollars or step on your feet,
Because I think that is sort of sweet;
No, I object to one kind of apology alone,
Which is when people spend their time and yours apologizing for everything they own.
-snip-
They apologize privately for the crudeness of the other guests,
And they apologize publicly for their wife's housekeeping or their husband's jests;
-snip-
I dread these apologizers even as I am depicting them,
I shudder as I think of the hours that must be spend in contradicting them,
Because you are very rude if you let them emerge from an argument victorious,
And when they say something of theirs is awful, it is your duty to convince them politely that it is magnificent and glorious.
“I’m sorry, did you want to sit on the couch?”
And finally, please note da roolz:
PWBPeeps is a group that posts a daily diary and nightly open thread for animal lovers. We share photos, seek & give advice about pet health and behavior issues, support each other in times of sadness and stress, celebrate together when times are good, and on most days have an inordinate amount of fun.
Tricia, we’ll always miss ya!
You are welcome to join us!
Here are a few not-too-onerous PWB rulez
Violate ‘em and we’ll say that you drulez
- Do not “Troll” the Pootie Peeps Diaries. If you don’t like animal diaries, there’s no need to tell us about it. Just go find some other diary more to your liking.
- Whatever happens in the outer blog STAYS in the outer blog. As in, no pie fights. This is a place to relax and play; please treat it accordingly.
- If you would like a pic from the comment threads, please ask the poster. He/she may have a copyright to those pics. Many thanks!
- There are some pics we never post: Snakes, creepy crawlies, any and all photos that depict or encourage human cruelty toward animals. These are considered “out of bounds” and will not be tolerated.
- If you’re not sure about an issue...please ask. Someone is always glad to help.
Finally, for those who might like to see our previous Illustrated Ogden Nash collections, they are here!:
The Serious Poetry of Ogden Nash, Illustrated!
More Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
Still More Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
Even More Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
Still Even More Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
Yet Still Even More Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
And Yet Still Even More Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
Continuing Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
Still Continuing Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
Still More Continuing Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
The Resumption of Serious Ogden Nash Poetry, Illustrated!
This is an open thread! Please chat away in the Comments. Enjoy!
