This has been a horrible few days for so many people who deserve better. It has bubbled things up in my consciousness I normally don't think about. Long ago I determined my awful childhood was due to a failure of the adults in my life, and I have no trouble shedding any feeling of responsibility for the actions of others, but that doesn't mean there isn't a price, a pain, a worry about what went before.
I honestly didn't think about any of those experiences for years and years, they had no sway in my life. Not gone, not completely forgotten just replaced with life going on. The problem is they can pop out like an ugly rash when you least expect it. When I found my father I can't express how excited I was, to say over the moon was an understatement. But then as the idea soaked in and started feeling real to me it wasn't long before the rash appeared at the edges. What if my Dad was like Uncle Matt or Mr. Eidie or Georgia's Dad? I could live with anything but that, anything but him being one of them.
We are talking ancient history, something I determined long ago would not affect my life, shut away under "not my problem" and there they are. I am lucky, I put them away where my Dad was concerned, not going to let those experiences rob me of the joy of finding him. Now just to get past the last few days and the real ugliness that boiled up from men who should, but don't seem to know better. I know they grossly underestimate the anger, the absolute white-hot fury their reactions produce in us. So, Brett Kavanaugh you so richly deserve every bad and awful thing that happens to you and more, FUCK YOU!