On this date in 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, as well as 2018, “Crazy/Stupid Republican of the Day” published profiles of U.S. Senator Rand Paul of Kentucky, the heir apparent to his father, Ron Paul’s political legacy and generally demented views. He’s a board-certified ophthalmologist*, has been repeatedly caught plagiarizing from other sources for speeches (including from Wikipedia articles), and has hired Neo-Confederates to serve on his campaign staff, which shouldn’t be too much of a surprise because Rand also once told Rachel Maddow in an interview that he wouldn’t have voted for the Civil Rights Act. Rand’s also discussed conspiracy theories like the Bilderberg Group, the American Union, the Jade Helm conspiracy theory, and even some 9/11 Trutherism, and experts who analyze the speeches of Congressmen determined he speaks roughly at about the 8th Grade Level.
A fine example was in 2014 when he blamed “political correctness” on people being afraid to declare a travel ban because of the Ebola Virus outbreak in Africa, as opposed to the actual doctors and epidemiologists who said a travel ban would only make things worse. Instead, he tried accusing the Obama administration of deliberately exposing 30,000 American troops to the disease. Rand Paul once sponsored a Personhood bill that would apply the 14th Amendment to fetuses, as well, showing he’s not exactly the libertartian “hands off” type he portrays himself as. After a long pattern of Rand Paul shushing female journalists emerged and was noted by political commentators as evidence of sexist behavior, Paul responded by telling critics that it was “sexist to call him sexist”, which is similar to how racists insist their accusers are the real racist ones. in June 2017 he compared National Health Care to “the gulag”. (Which is amazing, because the gulag is where Stalin sent millions to DIE whereas healthcare does the EXACT OPPOSITE FOR PEOPLE).
There was a point when Rand Paul was considered a potential front-runner for the Republican nomination for president, since the Tea Party was originally fomented with the help of his father, Ron, and their “outsider” group of ultra-conservatives. But having a daddy like Ron Paul “helping” isn’t always as much of a benefit as one might like, as the scandal surrounding Ron Paul’s 2012 bid for president where adviser Jesse Benton handicapped Paul’s chances early on. Then, the Tea Party got hijacked over time by even more outspoken bigots than Rand, who was pulling punches, like Ted Cruz, and eventually Donald Trump, who whipped them up into an anti-immigrant frenzy before Rand even realized what happened. Paul lost so much heat that when he published a book to hype on the campaign trail, it sold only a few hundred copies. He couldn’t escape the bottom tier of the GOP, ending up polling somewhere around tenth and barely qualifying for most of the primary debates, and using what little time he had on stage to bicker with New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, who made it his own personal mission to destroy Rand with every opportunity given in the debates.
In the midst of Rand Paul looking visibly depressed about his failed presidential campaign all year, he managed to prove n the rest of the year that he’s the same libertarian wing lunatic, voting against the permanent approval of The Zadroga Act, talking about getting rid of the Postal Service, voting to make sure anyone found to be on a terror watch list during a background check should still be allowed to purchase a firearm or explosives (which they could use to carry out a terror attack) and reintroduces his own Personhood bill, the “Life at Conception Act”, which would grant Constitutional rights to zygotes from the moment of fertilization. In November of 2018, he annoyed senators on both sides of the aisle by holding up military aid to Israel, because he will never miss an opportunity to grandstand about his isolationist bent.
Rand Paul staggered out of the 2016 GOP Presidential Primary in February of 2016, inexplicably hanging in far longer than he should have, after polling always down near 1%, and raising virtually no money from donors for his doomed campaign. He instead focused on defeating Jim Gray, the openly gay mayor of Lexington, Kentucky, to reclaim his U.S. Senate seat with 57% of the vote, which he now will not have to defend until 2022.
Rand is more partisan than ever, and not just because he voted to approve every member of the Trump cabinet, or to confirm Neil Gorsuch to the Supreme Court, or even that he voted to repeal the Affordable Care Act, and would have gotten away with it too if it wasn’t for those pesky kids Murkowski, Collins, and McCain. His “smaller government” heartless principles also saw him vote against disaster relief for Houston after Hurricane Harvey.
We can’t emphasize this statement enough, Rand Paul’s image that he is somehow not a reliable Republican vote, and that he’s an “outsider” because of his Libertarian views? HE IS FULL OF S***. Sure, he’ll have “doubts” about Republican nominees and go on cable news shows to vaguely talk about them, but he still goes out and votes for them anyway and hopes no one notices his actual voting record. He’s done this on some of the worst candidates for nominations, like say when Mike Pompeo is up for Secretary of State, or when torture-enthusiast Gina Haspel is up for CIA Director. Even more galling is that when an accused rapist, widely regarded drunk, and partisan hack is up for a Supreme Court seat, like say Brett Kavanaugh, he doesn’t even HAVE a doubt.
Back in mid-February of 2017, the Trump administration had its first, and not last ties to the Trump campaign being tied to Russia, after General Michael Flynn resigned after it was revealed he failed to disclose several meetings with Russian ambassador Sergey Kislyak during the campaign and the transition. And while the Democrats thought that warranted an investigation and several Republicans like Sen. John McCain agreed… Rand Paul deemed such a move “excessive” and “it makes no sense for Republicans to investigate Republicans”, proving that he views oversight as a partisan matter completely.
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Rand Paul, at this point, is moving into “ride or die” territory when it comes to Donald Trump, as after Trump’s “s***hole countries” remarks in January of 2018, Sen. Paul actually chastised people for calling the president a racist because “it hurts immigration talks”. You see? Trump isn’t the problem. It’s all the people rightly pegging him a racist that are the problem. Can’t say I’m shocked from the guy who wouldn’t back the Civil Rights Act, though.
How much of a spineless toady is Sen. Paul? At this point, he’ll hand deliver letters to Vladimir Putin from Donald Trump (really) that the public don’t get to ever learn the contents of, while claiming that the Mueller investigation and people upset about Russians hacking the 2016 election are just “Trump Derangement Syndrome”. His support of smaller government principles flew right out the window after a member of the Trump administration wrote an anonymous opinion editorial in the New York Times in July 2018, when he demanded that White House staff should have to begin taking lie detector tests to determine who actually wrote it.
And Rand Paul is currently trying to root out the identity of the CIA whistleblower who revealed Trump tried holding up military aid to Ukraine in exchange for their assistance in smearing Joe and Hunter Biden, indicating he has no issue with Trump openly breaking the law. Well, that and continuing to look like a Russophile by recommending that we abandon our ally and just don’t give Ukraine the military need they need to fend off the Russian army in Crimea.
But to wrap up this profile… we have to cover the plain weird factor. In January of 2018, one of the more bizarre and mysterious news stories broke… Rand Paul was attacked by his elderly neighbor, and actually suffered six broken ribs and other injuries in the assault. A lot of folks wondered if the beat-down was politically motivated… but no. Apparently, and this might come as a shock to those who have never met Ayn Rand fans… but Rand Paul is a s***ty neighbor, because he’s a selfish d*** who just throws his lawn trimmings and leaves wherever he wants, i.e. right along the property line. (That neighbor’s last name was Boucher, and we keep picturing Adam Sandler from The Waterboy tackling Rand Paul. It is… soothing to picture.) As a result of that attack, Sen. Paul had to have a portion of his lung removed. (We aren’t sure when he had a portion of his brain taken out, though.)
We’ll keep an eye on Aqua Buddha, still, because he’s apparently going to milk his dad’s legacy for far longer than should have ever been possible.