Another episode in our ongoing series. First snarky stuff; then linky stuff. Enjoy.
Well, we made it through another day and the Republican’t Party continued to embarrass themselves and the country. All have the leadership have graduated from the Goebbels School of Propaganda with dishonorable degrees and moved on through the advanced program of Gaslighting and Gish Galloping and the doctorate in Selling Your Soul and Betraying Your Country While Pretending to Care about People.
Recently, one of our diligent staffers here at NNNE Deep Investigations and Community Kitchen™ was able to infiltrate the very secretive Putin Owns tRump Utterly School of Slimy, Hypocritical and Illegal Tricks and enroll in the world infamous “How to Defend tRump and Destroy the United States” seminar. Led by full-time Putin staffers Moscow Mitch McConnell and MosCOW Devin Nunes and featuring appearances by Leningrad Lindsey Graham, and the entire minority team from the House Intelligence Committee, the seminar is designed to help wannabe dishonest politicians get a head start on how to survive in the right wing fever swamp.
Originally, the seminar was supposed to be held at Mar-a-Lago. But, the simultaneously scheduled Money Laundering symposium kept growing and growing eventually requiring the entire property. After Doral was ruled out because even unthinking republican politicians are afraid of bed bugs the size of ponies, the event was moved to Giancarlo Granda’s (Jerry Falwell, Jr’s poolboy) Miami Hostel
Lindsey led of the seminar with a presentation on how to spin craven toadying and rank hypocrisy into an argument for getting votes.
Addison was up next with a reprise of his Grim Reaper talk about how to stall legislation while blaming the other side.
Gym Jordan yelled out the introduction to his book, How to Defend the Indefensible, Protecting Pederasts. And after a short break to allow first aid for bleeding ears, he came back to scream about his newest work, Shouting Down the Truth, in stores when he can find a publisher who thinks money is more important than eternal damnation.
After a lunch break of cold hamberders, covefe and creme de crow served by tRump coffee boys and fired undocumented workers, it was back for the afternoon session.
First up was foot fungus doctor Brad Wenstrup with his training session on how to brag about making a minimal sacrifice and engage in show-pony style patriotism while attacking actual patriots.
Elise Stefanik explained how to stage manage fake outrage while breaking very clear rules and generally being an ass for fun and profit.
Mike Turner extolled the virtues of being a smarmy, oily water carrier for Donald tRump and suggested that everyone should be happy to debase themselves for their fearful leader.
Devin closed out the afternoon session with his tired and false, straight out of Goebbels’ playbook, “Repeat the lies over and over. Somebody will believe you.” notTED talk.
In the evening Donald tRump himself gave the keynote speech and explained how to talk over and around anyone for as long as it takes without making any points or sense while betraying all the country stands for. He received a standing ovation and then all the participants lined up to kiss his ass and swear eternal fealty.
Our friend chloris creator brought her A-Game, the A-Team and an A-One roundup chock full of goodness to us this morning. Go check it out.