In yet another reminder that some people feel absolutely no incentive to understand even the basics of black culture and beauty, a black 11-year-old cheerleader was told that she couldn't compete unless she wore a fake ponytail to look like her white and Latina peers. Colorado mother Tiyana Young took to Facebook Dec. 15 to vent her frustration about a back-and-forth text thread with Diamond Elite All-Star Cheerleading coach and owner Stephanie Trujillo. The encounter ultimately escalated and ended with Young’s daughter Niemah kicked off of the team and Young accused of threatening behavior, according to a dismissal letter CBS Denver obtained.
The dispute started innocently enough. "Good afternoon lovely,” the coach said in a text Young shared a photo of on Facebook. “As much as I love Niehams [sic] beautiful hair I will have to make the same hair mandatory for all athletes to avoid any conflict with others. With that being said $20 is due asap. My sincere apologies." Young responded in part with a question: "How am I going to explain to my 11 year [old] that her curly hair is just as beautiful as straight hair but coaches don't want you wearing your natural hair?"
"Other athletes have curly hair and this has never been a issue," the coach responded in part. "I will talk to Niemah myself." The coach appeared to interpret Young’s concern as a matter of personal taste, as if being asked to change the texture of your hair is like asking a person to change nail polish. In short, it’s not. For Niemah and black girls with similar hair textures, achieving a slicked-down ponytail with straightened, flowing strands means altering the natural state of their hair, often a painful and time-consuming feat. "It is easily a two-hour process," Young told CBS Denver. "I have to literally use a hard brush and pull her hair back into the tightest ponytail I can get it into." The child, who formerly wore the style for cheerleading, often got lightheaded because of it, Young said.
As persistently as Young tried to explain, Trujillo refuted her points until finally saying she would not continue the back-and-forth. “You want to be treated like everyone else well unfortunately this means ALL athletes will look a like. Hair, makeup, eyelashes, shoes and uniform in order to compete. I will not change my mind. Thank you," Trujillo said in another text thread Young shared on Facebook. That, however, was hardly the end of the exchange.
Trujillo singled the child out during one practice, said Young: “The coach continues and asks the team ‘how do you feel that this little African American girl gets to wear her natural hair?'” Jennifer Connell, a white mother of another cheerleader, told the news station that Young was overreacting. "This kind of blindsided all of us I think, especially over something as minute as a $10 ponytail," Connell said. I suppose Young’s complaint would be interpreted as trivial by someone with little or no understanding of what it means to live as a black person in a society that vehemently rejects some aspects of your culture and appropriates others.
The U.S. All Star Federation, a national oversight body for cheer and dance teams, maintains that "hair must be secured off the face with a simple and unexaggerated style that is adaptable to all diversities." Hair discrimination is an issue more and more state legislators are addressing with new legislation. Laws to ban the practice have recently been enacted in California, New York, and, as of Thursday, New Jersey.
RELATED: California passes CROWN Act to protect black workers against hair discrimination
Niemah was ultimately kicked off of the cheerleading team for what the coach deemed threatening statements the child’s mother made. Young, however, refuted that claim. “There was no threat made,” she told Daily Kos in a Facebook message. “They are claiming me stating I will be at the gym Monday before practice with my fiance to talk to coaches about the conversation she had with my daughter and her cheer team at practice that Saturday as a threat.”
The cheer company also referenced a social media post Young admitted to CBS Denver that she wrote. "Coach has a rude awakening coming her way. She crossed the wrong mother. She has NO idea what she has done,” Young said in the post. “I told my attorney it isn't even about the money, I want to make an example out of her. I hope she knows she can technically lose her coaching license as she is medical not cleared to be coaching."
CBS Denver reported that, in response to Young’s words, the cheerleading company sent her a letter notifying the mother that "Diamond Elite has dismissed your family from the program." The company allegedly was so overcome with fear for the safety of its coaches and program that it offered to waive a required “team withdraw fee” to “avoid any additional interaction” with Young, according to the letter CBS obtained. "The local police department has been notified and restraining order will be issued for making threats against the program, coaches and athletes,” the business stated in the letter. “False accusations about racism are untrue, slanderous and disturbing to the gym coaches and athletes of the program.”
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Young said that she has received emails from other parents saying: “You don’t f***ing scare me. I.D.G.A.F if your black,” and, “My kids safety and the girls safety comes first and when your saying your going to go down to the gym with your husband is a big threat. I had to keep my child home for a week to make sure you guys weren’t going to go shoot up the gym or try to hurt my child.” It’s unclear why the parent expressed such fear, considering that the cheer company hasn’t provided any evidence to the media that Young threatened to “shoot up the gym” or tried to hurt a child.
Because it’s not uncommon for people to rely on the stereotype that black people are inherently dangerous and angry people in some kind of roundabout effort to prove completely unrelated points, Daily Kos has reached out to Denver police for an incident report, an update regarding any investigation it has launched, and a copy of the restraining order. “I’ve worked hard to not become that person that unfortunately black women and black men are portrayed to be; violent,” Young said.