Christmas 2019 is upon is, and it is going to be what it has long been at the Nappe house; but Christmas 2020 will come sooner than we know it, and it will need to be quite a different thing. I just don’t know what that different thing will be. I would be most interested in how others spend the holidays when they don’t have the traditional multi-generational celebration of gift exchanges and a crowded dinner table.
Christmas Past
Growing up, Christmas was a pretty big thing. Even though my dad was one of a dozen siblings, we did not experience large extended families gathering around a dinner table, a tree, a piano. We were a small, nuclear family. At first there were just two parents and me, then a brother was added. We were often on the move with my father’s military service. Without roots we had no stable traditions; either within a community, or within an extended family. Even so, we had traditions.
There was, of course, gift giving. First (or maybe second) find a gift that is unique and unexpected for the recipient. Second (or maybe first) wrap it carefully and creatively. OK, on examination, the wrapping became even more important than the package contents. I can remember the wrapping, but not always the gift within it. There was a large realistic looking drum under the tree for my mother. It was actually a basket filled with an assortment of jams, teas, cookies, and other treats that we knew she enjoyed. There was a black briefcase, with careful white “stitching”, and foil locks, that looked so real a visitor thought it was an actual briefcase. There was a model antique car, with running boards and huge fenders. The simpler packages might be “merely” wrapped in velvet or brocade, tied with wide gold ribbon, and studded with faux jewels. Sometimes standard wrapping paper might be used, and it would be a big deal if the pattern repeat was exactly seamless. I wish I had some pictures of some of those wrapping projects that took weeks of time to plan and hours to construct!
My mother, even though she didn’t care for routines of daily meal prep, liked to do special projects. One year it was marzipan cookies, in all kinds of colors and shapes. Another year it was traditional fruit cake, which was wrapped in the summer, stored in a cabinet, and regularly “watered” with liquor as it aged. And we decorated. Not blow up Santas on the lawn, but lots of handcrafts – needlepoint, crochet, faux packages wrapped and hung from the porch railings.
Christmas Present
The present Christmas traditions didn’t just emerge from nowhere. It was a somewhat gradual process. The beginning is probably familiar to many; growing up, moving away, marrying, starting our own families. So in due course my brother and I, our respective spouses, and his children were far enough away in one way or another that Christmas did not involve gathering in one family’s home. Some effort was made to select and ship “just the right gifts”, but it wasn’t the same. And when our mother died, way too young at 68, the center that our Christmas traditions circulated around was no longer there, and those old Christmas traditions faded away.
For Mr. Nappe and I, with no children of our own, and eventually even nieces and nephews growing well beyond the age of Santa, there wasn’t much call for serious gift shopping to send away to others, or gift opening under what eventually became our non-tree, But, as it happened, at about the same time as some of these life events, I became involved in a job with a non-profit project providing gifts and toys to low income families and their children. It wasn’t long before this work became so demanding that there really wasn’t time for home traditions of cookie making and party hosting and decorating and wrapping. That seasonal project grew, and then grew some more. In time, Mr. Nappe was also drawn into the effort. While increasingly time consuming it has become, of course, increasingly rewarding, in that we are facilitating Christmas for thousands of children, not just a handful of those in our immediate families. Many, many days are spent working very hard physically, emotionally and mentally. Unlike many, I lose weight in December. Consequently, for a number of years now, our Christmas Day celebration is to sleep in, have a relaxing day, then go out for a nice dinner. And a celebration it is, for our weary minds and bodies.
Christmas Yet to Come
New traditions are now in order, and it won’t be a gradual transition as it has been in prior years and life cycles. I will be retiring next year, so there will be no more intense weeks of organizing toy drives, or recruiting volunteers to sort and package toys. What will the Christmas season, and Christmas day, look like now? We are at the age where we should be paring down possessions, not buying “stuff” for each other. We are also at an age, and have tastes, that preclude much cookie munching. I know that I am hoping, income permitting, to binge on live entertainment. We haven’t had time to go to performances of A Christmas Carol or A Christmas Story; attend local tree lightings and carol sings; or even walk through the mall and just watch the holiday craziness swirl around. Other than that, I don’t know. What do others do in December, and on December 24 and 25?