Mad Libs are easy and fun. They’re a great way to teach children what adverbs are! They are also a simple way to have a laugh with friends and family of all ages, and we have the perfect subject in Donald Trump. Here’s a man with a third grade-level vocabulary who speaks in a most predictable way and uses a handful of adjectives and adverbs to describe virtually everything he wants you to believe about his personal narrative. So, sit back next to the Christmas tree, near the Hanukkah menorah, or the Kwanza Kinara, maybe after the Las Posadas star piñata has been broken, and ask your friends and family to give you a few nouns, verbs, adverbs, and adjectives. Happy Holidays! See you in 2020!
Donald Trump Mad Lib #1:
I am here today in [geographical location] to [verb] a bit about [plural noun]. Before I became president, [plural noun] was [neg. adjective]. Now [plural noun] is [positive adverb] [positive adjective]. The other day a man came up to me and said “Sir, what you have done to make [noun] [adjective] is amazing. I can’t thank you enough for everything you have done. My [noun] is [adjective] and my [noun] is [adjective] since you became president.”
It’s true. [Plural noun] are saying that I’m the [adjective] president to ever [verb]. Just this morning, I was telling my wife that she should feel [adjective]. Of course, the Democrats think that [plural noun] are [neg. adjective]. What can you do? I try to tell people that I’m making the [adjective] deals. I told [name of country] that we weren’t going to have a deal unless it is [adverb] [adjective].
Donald Trump Mad Lib #2
[Plural noun] said it couldn’t be done. But we did it. I am announcing that I will be [verb] [plural noun]. Oh, I know. That’s right. People said that you can’t [verb] all of those [plural noun]. But I’m doing it. A [animal] came up to me yesterday and said “Sir, I don’t believe there has even been a president as [adjective] as you are. [Plural noun] everywhere love you more than a [noun] loves a [noun].” True story. That happened.
I tell you, when we are done here you will be sick of all the [adjective] [plural noun]. Just sick. [Noun] is on the rise. Before I became president, [plural noun] were plummeting. Now they’re on the rise. Can you believe that? I went to the [location] the other day and a lady there told me, she said “Sir, I cannot believe how many [adjective] [plural noun] there are now.”
Donald Trump Mad Lib #3
You know, before I became president, if you wanted to [verb] you had to [verb]. Did you know that? It’s true. And I said, that’s crazy. So, one of the first things I did when I got into the White House was tell [person’s name] over there that I wanted [plural noun] to be able to [verb] whenever they wanted to. Whenever. Even if they’d rather [verb] in [location].
The Democrats want you to [verb] in [location]. Can you believe that? And they’re so [adjective] they are trying to [verb] me. [Verb] me right out of [location]. But I’m smarter than a [noun].
[Just so you understand how much harder this was than you might think, I’ve cut and pasted a transcription of just one paragraph of a Trump rally speech. I-N-C-O-H-E-R-E-N-T.]
DONALD TRUMP REAL MAD LIB:
In [geographical location], where I come from, we have a lot of [plural noun] and that's okay, that's fine. So we left a little [noun] for the [plural noun] because we figured to get it signed, we'll give a little bit and we did it and we have one great [noun], and now you have the Democrats tried to take credit for this [noun] and that's okay. Whatever it takes.
[...]
That's all right. Get her out. Get her out of here. Oh, well you're about to [verb] the greatest [verb] you've ever heard and that's going to be the publicity because all the fake news back there will say: massive riot, massive riots, fake news. But [adverb], look, look, look, they won't [verb] it. They won't [verb] it because when we have [plural noun] all in favor, they don't talk about it, but there's a slob, there's a real slob, wait, wait a minute.
And one last real Mad Lib:
They do it so [adverb], and they're going to make that like it was the [adjective] event like you know, so just forget it. We know, we know what's going on, and that's the [adjective] thing with live television. Look at all that live television back there. So, in addition to the [noun], which is going to be [adjective] for the [noun] business, should even be good for the cereal business, Battle Creek.
[...]
We're building [plural noun], the power of which nobody's ever [past tense verb] before. Nobody's ever [past tense verb] before. You know it's funny, we have these kind of [plural noun] coming, I'd like to make [adjective] deals. You like to make [adjective] deals, that's what we do, right? So these countries that come in, prime ministers, presidents, sometimes dictators, those we can't deal with too much.