Admiral Dr. Ronny Jackson is back. It will be recalled that last year Dr. Jackson , after performing a “comprehensive medical evaluation” on Donald Trump, declared that the President was in “excellent” health and could presumably live forever if it weren’t for that darned Colonel Sanders (apparently a different branch of the military). Among other spectacular findings, Dr. Ronny declared that Trump was 6’3” and weighed in at a measly 239, allowing for a BMI of 29.9, and thus avoiding the classification of obese. The accompanying picture of an actual President, who stands an actual 6’2”, suggests that Dr. Ronny’s numbers might have been pulled from somewhere in his nether parts (that’s medical talk for “out of his ass”).
Dr. Jackson was promptly rewarded for his clinical acumen by being nominated to head the VA, despite having no previous administrative experience. After it was reported that the good doctor was self medicating with his old friend Dr. Jack Daniels, was abusive to his associates and underlings, and was a literal pharmacopeia of opioid medications for some of his friends, he was placed under Pentagon investigation for these allegations. His nomination to head the VA was quietly retracted.
But today, the White House has announced that Dr. Jackson will return to the White House as assistant to the President and chief medical advisor. Additionally, the WH has announced that Trump will be pushing for Jackson to receive a second star, elevating him from a lower class rear admiral to an upper class rear admiral.
It remains unclear whether this latest move is for the purpose of a new “comprehensive medical evaluation” to declare the President the healthiest person in the history of civilization or to begin to craft a medical defense for the ongoing Mueller investigation.