A New York man’s self-written tribute is making headlines not for its intrigue, its humor, or its vitriol, but for its commitment to helping others. Obituaries have been going viral for years, for various reasons, including plagiarism, which is surprisingly common; but a phenomenon I call “obituary activism” seems to have grown more common as opiate deaths continue to rise and families are determined to destigmatize the addictions that killed their loved ones.
Geoffrey Turner, of Latham, outside of Albany, died of lung cancer on Feb. 13, and he was determined to have the last word against the addiction that took his sunset years—and hopefully, with his obituary, have an impact on some of the estimated 34.3 million American smokers he leaves behind.
From Turner’s obituary, published in the Albany Times-Union on Feb. 16:
"I was an idiot who made the same stupid decision, day-after-day, multiple times per day. I was a smoker and even though I knew it may eventually kill me, I chose to deny the truth to myself. The pain and suffering I caused my family was not worth the perceived "satisfaction" that really did nothing more than waste money, separate me from my family, and eventually destroyed my body. I did many good things, helped lots of people, and even made a decent living. At 66 years old, I lived a decent life, but there are so many events and milestones I will not be able to share with my loved ones. The moral of this story - don't be an idiot. If you're a smoker - quit - now - your life depends on it and those that you love depend upon your life.”
Turner’s daughter, Sarah Huiest, told the BBC that when her father showed her the draft of his obit, she was shocked. "I told him that it was incredibly self-deprecating," she said. "He shrugged his shoulders and said, 'it's all true'."
She also voiced pride in what she considers to be her dad’s final “selfless” act. Turner, who, according to his daughter, was first caught smoking at two years old, and considered himself hooked by the age of four, was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer in November of 2018. His doctor directly linked the cancer to his smoking.
Huiest says Turner never smoked in front of his children, and constantly told his kids not to start while they were growing up. He quit after meeting his wife, but picked it back up during a trip to London in the mid-90s, and never managed to quit until it was too late.
Despite the heartache of her father dying of a preventable disease, Huiest tells the BBC that she feels good about the impact of the obituary, and considers it one of the greatest accomplishments, if not the greatest, of Geoff Turner’s 66 years on the planet.
Mrs Huiest describes her father's obituary as "by far the most significant thing he did in his life".
"He always wanted 'to do something big.' I am extremely proud of the selfless act of this obituary. This is what he will be most widely known for and it is a great thing."
Turner’s wife of 41 years, Josie, told local NBC affiliate WNYT that her husband didn’t stop at the obituary—he also donated his body to Albany Medical College. "The hope is that by his gift and by his words it will help the doctors understand better what this cancer did to his body and also his words may help someone else have a second thought about what they might be doing,” she said.
“If his words can impact one person to put out a cigarette and live a healthier life then that is worth it to me. I hope that happens,” she added.
In an interview with the Today show, Huiest said that she and her four siblings are amazed by the response so far.
One question remains: Will Turner’s final words actually have an impact on smokers?
The government’s smokefree.gov website recommends that those trying to convince their smoker to quit should “look for an opening” to start a conversation about addressing their addiction. The site also offers a list of motivational reasons for those considering the big quit. But it’s the personal connections of seeing beloved smokers die, and hearing from loved ones, that often have the most impact, WNYT reports.
An expert at Capital District Tobacco Free Coalition said more personal messages, like Geoff's, can be extremely effective in motivating people to quit.
"It's been shown that those ads had a great impact on people calling quit lines and trying to quit,” Capital District Tobacco Free Coalition Community Engagement Coordinator Jeanie Orr said.
“So I would imagine that this would also have that kind of impact, and I hope so, because it's really difficult for people to see that tobacco use is still a big problem. A lot of people think 'Oh, it's solved, everyone knows smoking is bad.'” Yes, he knew that smoking was bad, and yet he had a really difficult time quitting."
And so, Geoff Turner’s obituary may just tip the scales for struggling would-be quitters, even if it was too late for him.
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Author’s Note: As I write this, I’m looking at a half-pack of Marlboros, fully aware of the reprehensible irony that I’m rewarding myself with one as soon as I click PUBLISH. I’ve been thinking about this story for roughly 24 hours, and thinking about how I’ve been smoking since my freshman year of college.
And right now, I’m thinking that maybe, just maybe, Geoff Turner’s words got through to me.
