After this week I have to wonder, for lots of reasons.
Let me start by acknowledging that the leadership of the school where I work and my fellow educators are quite supportive of me, and after yesterday’s deadline to notify me if I were not being brought back, I have in theory the guarantee of continued employment for the forthcoming school year. And yet I have my doubts, would prefer to move to an independent school, but am having trouble even getting interviews.
The school at which I work is dysfunctional in many ways, despite some very good people. Because of our location we have trouble getting substitutes, and as a result most teachers have to give up at least one planning period a week to cover classes. We get paid for that, but only $15/class, and often there is no learning going on during such a period.
But this week became a real problem, and not just because we again had disruption because of weather. On Tuesday, one of my students chose to push a long-term substitute to the floor. On Wednesday I was assaulted twice by students I do not teach. None of the students is up for expulsion, even though the school system code of conduct says the punishment for an assault on a school system employee is expulsion. So far the young lady who push the sub to the floor got 3 days of in-school suspension (not part of her permanent record) and punishment for the two boys who attacked me is still somewhat in the air. One was in inschool for one day, but that was because he came into my room without permission. The other was out of school suspension for one day for previous behavior (which may have included his cursing me out when I told him to get out of the hall and go to class), a suspension of which he was aware when he shoved a door into me the day before he went out on suspension.
Please keep reading.
I said the school is dysfunctional. Apparently last year we had the highest rate of suspension of any of the more than 200 schools in the district. We are currently projecting a very high rate of failures and retentions. Both are issues that the administration is trying to address. All teachers have to justify if more than 30% of their grades are D (barely passing) and E (failure). Overall I was well within margin, but I had two of my 5 class lists which were greater than 30%. One, the special ed kids in a mixed class, it was 2 Es out of 11, one of whom missed 54 days of the 89 days of 1st semester. The other, my 6th period, had 11 of 29 students with 16 or more absences. Many of these students never show up with an excuse, which makes the absences unexcused. Technically, more than 10 unexcused absences for a year means the student is NOT supposed to get credit. And even if we allow the students to make up missing work, whether or not the absences are excused, there is no continuity of learning and thus it is hard to provide meaningful instruction.
Then there are students who are there regularly, but simply will NOT do the work: in my 6th period class there is are two young men who turns in maybe 30% of their classwork and maybe 10-15% of the homework. Classwork is 40% of the grade, homework is 20%. If they were to get perfect scores on all that work, and get 90% or better on assessment (also 40%), they COULD pass with a bare 60% average. OF course, their assessment grades are less than 50%, and what work they turn in is usually incomplete and very sloppy. We are required to give grades of no less than 50% on any assignment on which the student has given a good faith effort, and we are required to state in writing what assignments cannot be made up. Some of the students and their parents know how to play the system, although I am able to prevent that to some degree — I will allow missing work to be made up only in my presence, which means coming to me before school or during lunch. This is to prevent students from just copying from friends who have gotten the marked work back. To date, NONE of the students failing has ever taken advantage of the chance to make up missing work.
I feel as if I am wasting my time. I also have to spend far too much time managing behavior. And then there are interruptions for mandatory testing and other things.
By now it should be clear why I am interested in moving to an independent school. I am paid very well for a teacher, and most independent schools would pay me significantly less.
But I have trouble getting interviews.
I go to job fairs (three so far this year), have very positive interactions with people ranging from heads of schools to department chairs. I am often urged to apply online for openings. And then? Crickets.
In part it is my age. I am open about that. I can easily pass for at least ten years younger than I am (about to turn 73), and unless one closely examined my transcript from Haverford where I started in 1963 but did not graduate until 1973, there would not be clear indication that I am in my 70s. Even the fact that I am retired would not necessarily be a tip-off: after all, public school teachers can retire after 30 years. But I have always been straightforward. I want to be clear that I cannot commit beyond the 4-5 years before my wife is eligible for Social Security,
There is also my recent work history. If I return to my current school next year, it will be the first time I have been in the same school for two consecutive years since I retired in 2012. There are good explanations for all that, but unless I can get people to look beyond the surface, it is a stumbling block and I know it.
Since I retired in 2012, I have made multiple attempts to get into independent schools. I have filed applications on-line, gone to job fairs and to open houses. In all that time there have been two schools that did phone screenings of me and nothing more, and three that let me get so far as to do sample lessons (one only for a 3 month substitute position). In each of those three someone significantly younger than me was hired. In at least one (the substitute) the stumbling block was my visibility here, I kid you not. They wanted a commitment that i would not discuss my political opinions. I said I could easily meet that in classroom instruction, but what was I to do if a kid wanted to talk to me offline, because nowadays a lot of kids immediately Google search their teachers to find out what they can, and trust me, I am very easy to find.
So I face a problematic situation. I do not really want to continue in my current setting — it is emotionally draining without much reward. And yet I cannot seem to break into the independent school world.
I am reaching the point of wondering if I can cobble together enough income writing/consulting, or perhaps teaching online combined with something else, or perhaps doing a totally different kind of work that does not require that 60 hours a week that has been my normal pattern over my teaching career.
I began this piece with the question in my title. In the right setting, where I can really focus on helping my students learn, the answer would be yes, I still want to be a teacher. It is what has given my life meaning over the more than two decades since I got my own classroom on December 8, 1995. I got a lot of positive feedback when I posed a question on Facebook a few weeks back asking former students what they are now doing. I even as a result had lunch with a woman whom I both taught and coached when she was a freshman in high school in 1998-99. I have no doubt I made a difference for many. Even with some of those I have taught in the different schools in which I have been since retiring in 2012 — I got some nice messages from those as well. I have also had some positive mentions from the young ladies from China I taught in a summer economics course at Johns Hopkins Center for Talented Youth a few summers ago. I know I can still teach in the right setting.
But I increasingly feel as if my time may have passed. That saddens me.
It has been in part because of that sadness that I have not been as involved here. Oh, I read posts by others, and occasionally post a comment. But this is my first post since before Valentine’s day, and only the 2nd since January 28.
I don’t expect that my posting this will in any way solve my conundrum. I begin to resign myself to returning to my current school for at least one more year, perhaps cutting down on expenses to provide as much of an economic cushion as I can.
I legally have until May to notify my school that I am not returning without jeopardizing my teaching certificate (which must be renewed by July, although that should be a formality). So I suppose I will keep trying for an independent school position, and also keep my eyes open for possibilities other than classroom teaching, although at my age that might be even harder to achieve.
And my wife and I will probably do some serious thinking about downsizing as well.
When I first tried retiring, I wondered if I should change my user name, since I was no longer a teacher. Now, as I finish my 7th year since, I wonder yet again. In a sense I will always be a teacher, since that is very much my approach to things, even though my role as teacher is not to peel back scalps and pour in information, but rather to challenge to think more deeply, to go outside of one’s comfort zones, to consider additional possibilities.
If it is coming to an end, it has been a good ride.
Peace.