Well, of course he is, right? We all knew this. But Rick Reilly has done the legwork to document how extensive it is, and well done, sir. It does seem shallow to be poking fun at President Troll on this subject while so much is spinning out of control, but I need the comic relief, and I think stuff like this will get under his skin and maybe distract him from doing more damage.
“To say ‘Donald Trump cheats’ is like saying ‘Michael Phelps swims,'” writes Rick Reilly in the new book “Commander in Cheat: How Golf Explains Trump” (Hachette Book Group), out Tuesday. “He cheats at the highest level. He cheats when people are watching and he cheats when they aren’t. He cheats whether you like it or not. He cheats because that’s how he plays golf … if you’re playing golf with him, he’s going to cheat.”
Several people have witnessed him plop shots into a water hazard, only to drop a ball and play like it never happened (or his caddy magically “finds” his ball near the fairway after he’s driven it deep into some woods or something). Not really a big deal — if I were playing with him, or anyone, I’m fine if you just play on with a mulligan. Heck, don’t even take the penalty. It’s just a game. But Mr. Perfect-Who-Never-Makes-Mistakes can’t do that, can he? Like so much else about him, he thinks he’s building himself up while everyone else sees what a petty shit he is.
Like this, for instance: Trump claims a handicap of 2.8.
In layman’s terms, the lower the handicap, the better the player. Jack Nicklaus, winner of a record 18 major golf titles and generally considered the greatest golfer in the history of the game, has a handicap of 3.4.
…
“If Trump is a 2.8,” writes Reilly, “Queen Elizabeth is a pole vaulter.”
Or this:
At Trump Washington at Lowes Island, there’s a Civil War monument (bearing Trump’s name, obviously) between the 14th and 15th holes, reminding golfers of how many soldiers, from North and South, died at that very spot.
It’s a nice touch, even though several Civil War historians have confirmed that no battle took place anywhere near the memorial.
Who puts their own name on a Civil War memorial?
A guy who would drive a golf cart onto the green, that’s who.