From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Little Gay Billy's BIG Gay Newsapalooza!
I'm here, I'm queer, and I brung ya some beer. And a few headlines from the Land of LGBTQ:
» High-five to the Missouri Supreme Court for two favorable decisions last week, one of which shores up protections against discrimination in employment, and the other a positive action on restroom access for transgender residents. They chose…wisely.
» Meanwhile, the United Methodist Church chose...poorly.
» Gold tiaras to all the draq queens who sashayed down to Brownsville, Texas to add to the growing chorus line of Americans exposing Trump's ginned-up border hysteria as the hoax it is:
They said their goal was to show people there is no border crisis and voice opposition to more barrier construction in the region. … [Beatrix] Lestrange said she also hopes the drag performances bring awareness to some of the issues lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer migrants face. “I get teary eyed and emotional every time, because they’re already fleeing really horrible conditions,” Lestrange said of LGBTQ migrants. “They’re fleeing homophobia, transphobia, violence, trauma, only to come to the doorsteps of our country and encounter more of that.”
In the immortal words of RuPaul: "You are, and shall forever be…all-stars."
» And then there's this embarrassing news. Guess where the United States places among the world's friendliest countries for LGBTQ travelers? Wrong---it's lower. Lower. Looooower. Try 47th place---down from 39 last year---according to the Spartacus 2019 Gay Travel Index that bases its results on "14 criteria, including anti-discrimination laws, marriage and civil partnership laws, adoption laws, transgender rights and persecution." At the top: Canada, Portugal, and Sweden. I wonder if at least they're bored with all the winning yet.
» Social conservatives got their tighty-whities in a twist and called for a boycott of Cottonelle because of a 15-second ad featuring a gay couple. We hear that Cottonelle is very upset by this. After getting an earful from the God Squad, they now realize that they're no longer #1 in asswipes.
» And finally, a must-see clip from last week's hearing by the House Armed Services Subcommittee on Military Personnel which, unfortunately, was overshadowed by the Cohen hearing (but brought to our attention by Kossack rserven). For the first time, transgender servicemembers were given a forum to air their views on life in the military and their reaction to Trump's 2017 ban-by-rage-tweet. Also testifying was a hapless flunkie sent by the White House to defend the policy. And to say that committee member Rep. Anthony Brown (D-MD) put retired general James Stewart's arguments through a sausage grinder would be an understatement:
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I don’t know if General Stewart was a heavy drinker before that moment. But I suspect he is now.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, March 5, 2019
Note: Don’t forget that you can follow me on Twitter here. You’ll get all of my mediocre incoherence with the added benefit of knowing that at least I’ll be forced to shut up after 280 characters. Also: our feed is rated “*****” by the Michelin Guide. We have no clue why. —Mgt.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til the big 38 Miles for the ERA march in Phoenix to promote the state being the 38th to pass the Equal Rights Amendment: 6
Days ‘til the Durango Bach Festival in Colorado: 12
Drop between 1930 and 2010 in the amount of seafood humans can sustainably harvest, thanks to global warming, according to the journal Science: 4.1%
Current support for Trump's border "national emergency" hoax in Maine, Iowa and North Carolina, respectively, according to PPP: 33%, 36%, 39%
Number of points Cory Booker has in FiveThirtyEight's new Democratic candidate endorsement tracker, making him the current leader: 55
Percent of Americans who currently use cannabidiol (CBD) as a supplement, according to a survey by Cowan & Co.: 7%
Expected size of the CBD market in five years: $16 billion
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NEW Tuesday feature! "Packin' for Philadelphia!"
Brought to you by the 2019 Netroots Nation Convention in Philadelphia, July 11-13. Well, the elephant in the room in Philly is certainly Georgian-style Independence Hall, the place where, on July 4, 1776, as the aroma of mid-summer B.O. hung in the air, the 56 crabby and wrung-out delegates of the 13 colonies finally approved their take-out lunch order. Oh, and then, later, the Declaration of Independence, and, way later, the Constitution:
George Washington’s “rising sun” chair dominates the Assembly Room which is arranged as it was during the original Constitutional Convention.
In the adjacent West Wing, the actual inkstand used to sign the Declaration of Independence and an original draft of the Constitution are prominently displayed.
Admission is by tour only, and you will need timed entry tickets between the peak months of March-December. If you happen to visit on off-peak times, you will not need a ticket in January-February, or after 5 p.m. during summer hours.
We won’t need no stinkin' tickets because last time I was there I bought an actual working souvenir key to the front door, and yes, the Park Service ranger let me try it and it works. So we'll be having our C&J end-of-convention party there, during which we'll pass a few new Constitutional amendments that will guarantee voting rights, abolish the electoral college, establish health care as a human right, and officially enshrine libertarians as "super weird."
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Breakfast is suuuuuhved…
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CHEERS to Mardi Gras! Nothing but decadence and gluttony on the schedule today as Americans celebrate the religious observance of, um, decadence and gluttony. (I'm a bit behind in my Bible studies---47 years to be precise.) As I understand it, if I display a pair of ginormous boobs you'll throw me some beads. Right? Okay then, check out these humungo babies:
If it’s not too much trouble I'd like my beads to be made out of trillion-dollar platinum coins, please.
CHEERS to the BOOM! Heard round the political world. A picture says a thousand words, so they say, and after yesterday's bombshell document request by House Judiciary Committee chair Jerry Nadler (D-NY), I can finally post the pic that says it all in terms of what's ahead for the Trump crime syndicate:
But if you still want the thousand words (give or take), knock yourself out. Fearless prediction: our popcorn shortage is going to hit a lot sooner than we think.
CHEERS to another lectern on the debate stage. Sensing that the current roster of 927 candidates in the Democratic primary just didn’t offer enough variety, another humanoid entered the 2020 race yesterday morning. Let's check out his vitals:
Gov. John Hickenlooper
Hails from: Colorado
Age on inauguration day 2021: 69
Primary campaign promise: "When we stand tall for all we believe in and stand up against all that divides us, America will be stronger than ever."
Official website: Hickenlooper.com
Can tie a cherry stem with his tongue? Yes.
Strengths: Successful stints as Denver mayor and Colorado governor; opened his own craft brewery and shepherded Colorado's now-booming legal pot industry through its birthing pangs; gives off a quirky, west-of-the-Mississippi vibe.
Weaknesses: Thinks the key to uniting the country is sitting down with Mitch McConnell and persuading him to be reasonable; fan of the fossil-fuel industry.
Baby-kissing ability, based on latest reviews on Toddler Yelp: 8.8/10
John joins Kamala, Pete, Cory, Elizabeth, Bernie, Tulsi, Julian, John, Andrew, Kirsten, Jay, and Amy in their quest to be #46. But one person who won't be joining them is Barack Obama's attorney general Eric Holder, who officially said "no thanks" yesterday so he can continue his efforts to eliminate gerrymandering across America. Okay, I've decided: he gets my vote.
JEERS to disaster on the high seas. I can't wait to see how Green New Deal co-author Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez can possibly justify her proposal after reading this horrible news from way, way, way out west:
A sunshine spill in the Pacific Ocean's Solomon Islands after a solar energy's cargo ship ran aground is threatening an endangered environmental gem.
"The impact of this sunshine spill will have a devastating effect on the surrounding environment, including potentially on a protected UNESCO World Heritage Site, as well as the livelihood of the people of Rennell," Australia's High Commissioner to the Solomon Islands Rod Brazier said in a statement. [...]
The disaster is unfolding next to the southern third of the island, known as East Rennell Island, which makes up the United Nations Educational Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO) World Heritage Site.
Press reports said that 75 tons of solar energy have spilled into the ocean already while 600 tons of oil remain on board.
I'm sure that by now you know it wasn't really a "sunshine spill," because that would be nonsensical. I was, of course, just making a point by changing a key word to demonstrate what could never happen with solar energy. This story is such a travesty and (yet another) cautionary tale. I just hope they figure out how to safely dispose of those 675 tons of wind.
JEERS to humans behaving badly. On March 5, 1946, prompted by the shenanigans of Joseph Stalin (who died on this date in 1953) in post-World War II Europe, Winston Churchill introduced the new "Iron Curtain" in a speech at Westminster College in Fulton, Missouri. Or, as Bed Bath & Beyond later called it, "our worst-selling curtain ever."
CHEERS to timely departures. Former acting Attorney General Matt Whitaker, one of the more bizarre Trump hires (and that’s saying something) officially resigned from the Justice Department yesterday. You may recall that his previous claim to fame, besides U.S. attorney, was as an advisory board member in a shady firm that promoted a toilet for men with extra-large penises, a Sasquatch doll whose marketing materials claimed Big Foot is real, and a bitcoin-based time travel scam (don’t ask, it's complicated):
The Washington Post reports World Patent Marketing was forced to shut down in May, agreeing to pay a settlement of nearly $26 million to resolve wide-ranging Federal Trade Commission complaints about defrauding investors.
"The defendants promised to promote people's inventions and took thousands of dollars, but provided almost no service in return," acting FTC Chairman Maureen K. Ohlhausen stated in a news release. "Then they added insult to injury by threatening people who complained."
According to the Post, Whitaker claimed he was unaware of the company's allegedly fraudulent activities, despite remaining on its board until joining the Justice Department last year. Two people familiar with the FTC investigation said Whitaker had been told of the complaints and failed to act or respond.
According to his official resignation letter, Whitaker wants to spend more time with his family. Of Bond villains.
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Ten years ago in C&J: March 5, 2009
JEERS to sneaky bad people. After waging the Great War on Terror for seven and a half years, you'd think the number of suspected evildoers might---oh, what's the word?---decline. And you would be wrong. So please give a warm, suspicious American welcome to the 1 millionth person added to the federal terrorist watch list”
People put on the watch list by intelligence and law enforcement agencies can be blocked from flying, stopped at borders or subjected to other scrutiny. About 95% of the people on the list are foreigners, the FBI says, but it's a source of frequent complaints from U.S. travelers. ... Without specific rules for who goes on the list, it's too bloated to be effective, says Tim Sparapani, a lawyer with the American Civil Liberties Union.
As for suspect #1,000,000, Oslama Gin Bladen of Piedmont, North Dakota: you might want to carve out a few extra years for "travel time" as you're planning your next trip to Boca.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to a furry four-legger's best friend. Can’t let the day to go by without sending out a heartfelt “meow” in honor of Tricia Wyse LeFevre---aka Daily Kos's beloved animal rights activist and "Pootie Queen"---who left us three years ago today. Tricia was the driving force behind the daily "pootie diaries" (and, for canine aficionados, "Woozle Wednesdays"), a lengthy strip of LOL pics that served (and still serves, thanks to her litter of a-“mew”-sing surrogates) as a welcome oasis on the Rec List amidst all the pie flinging and Trump insanity. Kossack bfitzinAR said it best in her diary that broke the news:
It’s hard to even start on how and why she was so important. …
She created a space where people could bring their joy in their pets, their questions about pets, and their sorrow at the loss of their pets.
She created a safe space where we could come when the stresses of our personal lives became overwhelming.
She loved our community, kept track of us, let everyone know when one of us needed help or sympathy---and put it on the top of every diary that she would defend the Peeps under any circumstances.
One of the nicest things this community did for Tricia was to pay her way to attend the Netroots Nation convention in Providence in 2011. Michael and I were there when she arrived at the hotel---yes, wearing her leopard-print cat ears (above)---and until the moment she left five days later she was treated like the royalty she was. Fair to say that was a highlight of what was a very challenging life for Trish. So, in her honor today, we’re serving up a giant tub of Fancy Feast Liver & Giblet casserole in the C&J cafeteria. And as soon as you finish eating it, we’ll unlock the door and let you leave. Would you prefer a fork or a spoon?
Have a tolerable Meowsday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
When reached for comment, Gorka replied to Mediaite with a furious torrent of emails, the first of which accused Bill in Portland Maine of being in a drug-induced haze. "You really are obsessed with me aren’t you. I’d be flattered if you weren’t a washed-out hack,” Gorka wrote in a second email.
---Mediaite
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