The good news: I got a BRAP voucher. The bad news: I left the Shelter on 11 May after being attacked again.
I’ve been so depressed and (for the first week) busy I haven’t wanted to write this. This week I was busy then stuck. I’m very tired. I’m staying at the old house because that won’t jeopardize my voucher in any way. Of course, most of my furniture is gone!
Basically what happened was that the man who had been escalating in words & actions against me walked up to me, said I had taken his seat (I had come out of my room and sat across from a friend after asking if the seat was taken), then he threw (thankfully luke-warm) coffee on Sally and me from an abandoned cup on the table.
I had already been notified that they would do nothing if he attacked me again. So had Maine Deaf Rights. A roomful of people saw it happen. He immediately went to get hot coffee and come back but was headed off.
I called the police after the staff said they didn’t think it was a big deal, even though Sally was affected.
When the police came, staff got very angry and tried to keep me from speaking with them. I did anyway. Staff then prohibited anyone from talking about what happened, and me from getting full names for the police report. I put that in when I emailed it.
After the officer left, they started. They asked me why I wanted to hurt such a sweet old man. That if I didn’t provoke him, none of this wouldn’t have happened. That I just needed to leave him alone. That they hadn’t seen Sally and I covered in coffee (I’d had to take off my sweatshirt and Sally’s harness had to be washed—both were soaked through). That they hadn’t seen Sally wearing her bright blue harness. Or that they just weren’t allowed to talk about it at all (in the case of the staff member who had originally said, “Okay, this is just too much! Who saw that happen? This is ridiculous!”). Or that maybe he just spilled the coffee because his hands were unsteady... That it would be impeding his movement to ask him to stop blocking the only door out to walk Sally, and I’d just have to get over it and squeeze past him while he had been using his cane to poke people (“that’s good fun!”), that they’d be able to stop him if he really tried to hurt me…
All this as the next shift was coming in. One of whom used to run a DV shelter I used to be in, 7 or so years ago (J).
And I just couldn’t. I’ve been abused, I’ve been gaslit. I can’t stand gaslighting. I have enough trouble with my brain after the brain injury. I told them I was leaving and got greeted by smiles by the outgoing shift (there’s an overlap). J took me to the med room to get my things, closed & locked the door, and told me she saw the gaslighting, didn’t they know I had a history of trauma (I told her they did), that they were wrong, and did I know about DRM? I told her I was meeting with the head on Monday. J said good, the Shelter had a history of this, and she could only bear to work there 4 hours a week.
I still don’t have my rent or SNAP (food stamp) refunds back. It’s kind of why I’m stuck. No fuel, no more meds (although having them helped sleep!), no bed (I’m sleeping on kitchen chairs), and I can’t get Sprint IP Relay (a deaf phone service) to accept my documentation for a set up due to my name change, even though I’m following procedures. I haven’t even been able to pick up my pharmacy meds or food since Tuesday. And I don’t have my SNAP card.
Sally’s a LOT happier. I’m depressed but not having constant panic attacks like before. They were definitely cheating on the food. It’s so restful to not be on edge all the time, but at the same time I was expecting the refund by now so it’s difficult to apartment search. My case manager and nurse care manager are taking care of me.
I’m managing.