Drafting Guys Over 60. Total Kudos to whoever wrote this —
I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down
terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing
ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys.
You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 55.
For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10
seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a
month, leaving us more than 280,000 additional seconds per day to
concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier
is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep,
I'm tired and hungry.' We are bad-tempered and impatient,
and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves
it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.
An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 am. Old
guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides,
like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I
may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.
If captured, we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we
put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a
real brainteaser.
Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting
screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've
also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using
them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the
screaming and yelling.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been
in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging
over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing
basic training.
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've
never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still
learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty
girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a
brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little
more about life before sending them off into harm's
way.
Let us old guys track down those terrorists. The last thing an
enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off old farts
with bad attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best
years are already behind them.
HEY!!
How about recruiting Women over 50... in menopause!!! You
think MEN have attitudes?? Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God…..