Yeah, Jeffery Epstein’s death stinks. There are lots of questions about how he died and how he was allowed to die. But without the answers to those questions, my conspiracy theory is just as good as yours.
My conspiracy theory? It was Col. Trump in the Jail Cell with the wrench.
But just for a moment, it would be a good idea to put our imaginations in restrains and realize that it’s no better for us to say it’s obvious that Trump or someone who supports him ordered Epstein’s death than it is for Trump to say that Epstein fell to the Clintons’ evil machinations.
No matter how thorough the investigations, the truth is we may never know for certain what happened. For one thing, several of the investigations are under the supervision of A.G. Barr, who has a vested interest in the outcome. For another, even with absolutely verifiable facts about what happened at each step, the facts may not tell us who was responsible.
Personally, I don’t believe that a couple of corrupt guards entered Epstein’s cell and wrestled him into a bed-sheet noose and hung him from his bed frame. That’s how Jussie Smollet would plan a murder. It would simply be much too easy to flip one or both of the perpetrators and unravel the whole thing. Occam’s razor tells me that even the gang of talent-and-brain-free hacks that surround our president are smart enough not to do that.
Epstein had good reason to want to kill himself. He didn’t have a friend left in the world. Everybody he’s ever hung out with is now frantically trying to disassociate himself. Nobody was going to step in and negotiate a sweetheart deal for him. Nobody was going to give him a break, or work release, or an ankle monitor and house arrest. Donald Trump was not going to pardon him. The only future he had to look forward to was being a child molester in prison. That’s pretty dark.
All he needed was opportunity, which he got.
That’s where the conspiracy theories rest. He was given the opportunity. What we don’t know is why.
We want to believe someone pressured the jail administration into isolating Epstein with the means to kill himself at hand. Donald Trump wants us to believe it was the Clintons. We want to believe it was Donald Trump or someone who works for him.
But it’s not one or the other. There are a lot of people out there who likely wanted him silenced. Was it the British Royals? Was it Alan Dershowitz? Was it someone very rich we’ve never heard of?
Or it might have been nobody at all. Never blame a conspiracy on something that could have happened through simple incompetence.
After we find out who took him off suicide watch, who moved his roommate, who let the guards think it was OK not to check on him regularly, we won’t know for certain why all these steps were taken.
The only real solution is going to be in the extremely unlikely case were someone has a recording of the phone call where the jail officials were urged to give Epstein enough rope to hang himself. Or a text. Or if someone in the chain of conspirators flips and confesses.
If Epstein died because of anything but his own determination to escape his future, the evidence is going to be ephemeral — a word in the right ear, a potted plant moved onto a balcony.
My point is, it is very tempting to say we know what happened because the scenarios we’ve worked very much play into what we want to believe. But if we’re going to claim we’re reality based, we can only believe what we have seen proven.
We know Jeffery Epstein killed himself. We know a lot of powerful people hoped he would never speak again. We know that irregularities at the jail allowed him to kill himself.
And that’s it.