I had an excellent friend. We met in college in the late 90s and were close friends for over 15 years. Close enough to stay at each others places, go on vacation together with our significant others, etc. We spent countless hours enjoying each others company over the years. Music was a big part of our relationship. He was also a staunch progressive as far as I ever knew. I remember him being a big Jim Hightower fan. He was always just a generally great person. Funny as hell, up for a lot of fun stuff, reliable, great listener, great musician, etc. Someone I assumed would be a life long friend.
At some point about 5 years ago, we hadn’t been in touch in a while (normal as we live over an hour apart) but then he stopped replying to my repeated phone messages and emails. I didn’t know if I had done something to offend him or what. I eventually just sadly resigned myself to losing a great friend (actually two friends as his wife was also a friend) and accepted the pain and confusion of his non-replies.
Yesterday I thought about him and decided to look at his Facebook page. (I’ve never had one and don’t generally even look at them). I noted the long list of links to other pages. There were many anti-vaxxer groups and some home schooling stuff. I wasn’t surprised as I knew he leaned this way after having children starting several years ago.
I was however surprised as I continued and saw links to various Republican, gun, anti-abortion rights, Trump, and general radical right wing groups. I didn’t click on any, but it appeared to run the gamut. The majority of the links in his list seemed to relate to one of these areas with just a few “non-political” ones. He also liked a recent anti-abortion propaganda movie.
So my former Hightower-reading pal appears to be a hard core right wing Trump lover. Depressing. I really miss my friend and know that the great person I knew is still there somewhere. It just feels like what I imagine (having no direct experience) it must feel like when someone close to you joins a cult.
I assume his political turn is his reason for cutting off contact with me. I won’t make any assumptions about what turned my friend in this direction. Nor will I judge him as a person. It just makes me sad.