As Dave Barry says, we are not making this up:
U.S. Customs and Border Protection has a problem with vultures — specifically, roughly 300 of them that are defecating and urinating all over a radio tower that the agency needs to communicate.
[snip]
“They will often defecate and vomit from their roost onto buildings below that house employees and equipment,” said the spokesperson, whom Quartz did not name. “There are anecdotes about birds dropping prey from a height of 300 feet, creating a terrifying and dangerous situation for those concerned.”
Beyond the risk of vomit and prey falling from the sky, vultures have sharp nails and beaks that can cause deep scratches. The birds also “regurgitate a reeking and corrosive vomit” that kills bacteria on their legs but also slowly destroys metal, according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture.
The secretions make the tower unsafe for the maintenance workers who have to climb it. And, of course, law enforcement relies on communications.
The agency is looking for ways to protect the tower, including netting or hanging an effigy of a vulture, which apparently makes other vultures less likely to gather.
A CBP spokesperson also noted that vultures are useful, as they get rid of carcasses that could spread diseases.
I don’t wish ill on anyone, but sometimes the right folks get crapped on.