I apologize in advance. I have never been much of a writer so my grammar and punctuation will probably make alot of you cringe.
This is really hard...but it's harder to see my children go without the necessary things to thrive. Someone here recommended doing a Fundraising Diary I have been sitting here since 7 AM struggling with the decision to even write this, or not. I am not the only one struggling and I feel very selfish honestly asking for help when so many others need it too. It's now a little after 1:00 PM here. My 5 year old boy is A and my 15 year old daughter is R. My 5 year old is currently eating dry cereal for lunch because we don't have any milk and and R found a pack of peanut butter crackers. This wasn't our life 7 months ago and I certainly didn't forsee these dire circumstances coming then. I was self employed and I was doing ok financially just barely above the poverty line, but it was ok. I had enough to pay the bills and maybe once a month or so we would get a pizza for take out. We were doing ok though and my children had food and clean clothes and a roof over their heads.
Now, my checking account is 334.00 overdrawn, because I had to try and pay our internet bill, so they could continue their online learning curriculum. I recieve 169.00 a week in unemployment benefits which means I will not have money for at least another 2 weeks to buy toiletries, food, or cleaning essentials. Another billing cycle is coming due for the internet and utilities and my rent is 1100.00. I do qualify for some SNAP. It is helpful and I am grateful for it, but it doesn't last as long as they think it should. If they were is school they would qualify for the free lunch program, and they still do now. We live outside of town though and the nearest free lunch delivery they have is over 2 miles away. I do not own a vehicle and the delivery time comes when they are still in school. I am unable to leave the 5 year old without supervision to make the almost 5 mile walk (round trip) to go and get them food. So we try to make do with what we have available here at home, but having them go to bed still hungry is becomingmore common than not right now. I was recently notified that they will be doing online schooling until the middle of January as well. I am terrified of the very near future. The first thing that I lost was my phone. Not such a big deal, I still had a roof and the kids still were able to do school with internet. Now I am feeling like my ability to care for them is becoming more and more uncertain. I feel like a failure as a parent because it is getting to a point that I can't provide their necessary items to thrive. Not because of my lack of trying but because the resources are so limited or just not there. How long will my landlord continue to let me fall further behind? The internet will be turned off in a couple of weeks how will I be able to get them access to school without it? I have no vehicle and don't live next to a bus line to try and get to a public area to access wifi, or to even try and get to a food bank. My children are my world and every day they go without I feel like I am failing them.
I know I am not the only person facing these circumstances or situations. That's why it's so hard to ask for help. I don't have a Go Fund Me or PayPal account I have used. I know when I was in a position to donate Go Fund Me would show a fundraising goal. I honestly don't have a goal, because I am grateful for anything whether it be encouraging words or a contribution of any kind. I have used Venmo and Zelle before.
If you can relate to this situation, or are experiencing the same I would love to talk to another adult.