I don’t know about you, but back in the Before Times when I was asked “How are you doing?” the answer was supposed to be “Oh, fine” or “Good thanks, and you?” Ever since March, I’ve been trying to answer the same way. But in my conversations with friends and increasingly on my social media feeds, I see a different story.
And so I’m here to say to you tonight “My name is brillig, and I am not even remotely as OK as I have been trying to portray, and that’s OK.” Grab whatever you’re stress-eating, drinking or edible-ing tonight and hop below the story break for some honest, open check-in with one another...
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Since this is my diary, I guess I’ll go first :-). In no particular order:
I’m tired, physically and mentally. Of the clusterfuck Republican party and what it’s done to my country. Of watching people I care about descend into the idiocy of Trumpism and QAnon. Of fear of COVID. Of the idiots who can’t manage to understand COVID is real, and who act in ways that prolong this nightmare for all of us. Of not being able to see friends up close and maskless. Of not being able to hug. I miss live music.
I can’t manage more than 3hrs of sleep at a stretch. Several nights a week I get two short stretches of sleep bracketing a couple of hours where the hamsters in my brain are running marathons on their wheel.
I’d love to be one of those folks who got their physical health in order once the pandemic hit, but alas, no. My weight is stuck 10lbs higher than my knees appreciate (I’m not expecting to hit my teenage weight, but I know exactly what weight makes them achy), and my blood sugar is consistently higher than it’s been in four years even though I am still eating a low-carb, keto diet. I suspect I’ll be back on meds to manage it as soon as I have my next physical. The stress hormone cortisol causes increases in blood sugar, which makes me more stressed as it rises, and you see where this goes...
I’m frankly scared about what winter will bring, as my New England self retreats inside to stay warm but loses the socially distant visits made possible spring thru fall.
What am I doing for self-care? I am sticking to daily routines that help keep me focused on positive actions. I get up in the morning to make time for a walk outside every day, because being outdoors lifts my mood. I am being very intentional about doing things that make me happy, be it binging a TV show, cooking, listening to new music, or coloring :-). I’m giving myself permission to NOT do things that increase my stress or anxiety levels. And I make sure to check in with friends, because even if we can’t be together in person, we CAN make sure to let those we care about know they’re in our thoughts.
Oh, and I voted, and am doing what I can to make sure our long national nightmare comes to an end in two weeks. That is major self-care!
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From Eyesbright:
LogORhetoric brings us not just a great comment (in context) but also quite good poetry! From Dan K’s Trump Calls for Violence Against Adam Schiff.
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