We're a big family, but there's plenty to go around.
Or there would be, if Dad didn't spend so much of it in himself, and on spoiling the favorite sons and telling all of us how much better and more worthy they are than the rest of us.
Dad refuses to work outside the home, and he won't parent any of us either, except to beat us, which he does frequently. And yet, he's declared himself to be in charge of the family budget.
Mom has a low-paying job that takes up most of her time, but she tries to meet our needs, the best she can.
It's not easy. We need food, and medicine, and books and supplies for school. Mom saves and saves and saves, but then just when we've saved enough to do get what Mom promised us we could have, Dad finds the savings, and takes it, and goes to Vegas.
Sometimes his sprees last for months, and he sends us NOTHING. But we're mostly just relieved when he's gone, because when he comes back, he always calls us "sinners" and beats mom and the kids. He reeks of booze and casino cigars and rage-sweat and Axe spray and all-you-can-eat buffets as he beats us and calls us "sinners".
And then he goes back to beating Mom while sneering at her and calling her "Mommy" in a sarcastic tone of voice. "You're spoiling the children", he says, while giving lavish feasts to the one or two children he favors. And then he destroys our schoolbooks, and says that books are for nerds.
He encourages the kids to fight with each other. He eggs on the few favorite sons, who are the biggest, and tries to get them to bully the girls, and the rainbow kids, and the ones with the dark skin, who he says are fair game because they're not his. And they often DO bully them, because he promises them treats and says that he'll have to give the treats to the other kids unless the favored kids take the treats away from them.
Once or twice, we got Dad's weapons and his money box away from him, and we gave them to Mom and told her it was our chance to leave Dad and go someplace where we could have a functional family without him.
And what Mom did was this: She went back to Dad and said, "The kids think I should be in charge now. Is that...Okay?"
And Dad said "No".
And Mom said, "We need to be a two-parent family", and she stayed with him. And before long, Dad got a hold of the weapons and the money box again, and he beat Mom black and blue and went off on another one of his spending binges, after which he came back and told us there was no money left for food and medicine, and that we were "sinners" who didn't deserve such things anyway.
Mom went back to saving and saving and saving again, and doing without, so that we could one day have nice things. But then Dad got a hold of what she'd saved again, and squandered it.
We begged Mom. We BEGGED her for a fighting chance, for food and medicine and something to help us become thriving and independent, and a lot of the time she just stood there, crying to herself, while we begged her
.
And then, every once in a while, she would snap.
And when that happened, Mom would lash out viciously at us, and say "SHUT UP, and stop asking for food and medicine! You'll just make him mad! I can't get you those things! I can't stop him from taking everything we've got! I have no power! Do you understand? I HAVE NO POWER!!!"
And every time that happened, a couple more of the bigger kids would hear her, and think for a bit, and would then go over to Dad and ask if HE would protect them if they did what he wanted and helped to bully the rest of us.
And Dad would grin and say no, but that he'd hurt them a little less than the rest of us if they'd cooperate. And they shrugged and agreed.
And that's why we're growing up to be the kind of people we are.
Those of you that have eyes, let them read. Those of you that have hearts, let them bleed.