This is poetic. After all, Trump declared himself “the lawn order president.” (Emily Litalla, anyone?)
Guiliani held a press conference this morning in a drab parking lot, not at the Four Seasons hotel, but in front of Four Seasons Total Landscaping, located in a drab strip mall in between Fantasy Island Adult Book Store and Delaware Valley Cremation Center.
Slate:
Trump Team Holds News Conference Outside Drab Landscaping Firm, Next to Adult Book Store
On Saturday morning, shortly before the AP and other news outlets called the election for Joe Biden, President Donald Trump took to Twitter to announce that his lawyers would be holding a “big press conference” in Philadelphia. But there seems to have been some major confusion about where it would be held. First Trump tweeted it would take place at the “Four Seasons, Philadelphia.” Trump later corrected himself and said that the news conference was going to be held at the Four Seasons Total Landscaping. And the Four Seasons Hotel sent out its own tweet, making sure everyone knew that the news conference would not be held there but rather at the landscaping business that has “no relation with the hotel.”
The Tweets about it write themselves.
During this news conference in the drab parking lot, Guiliani learned that networks had made the call that Biden had won the election (by a LANDSCAPE!) and was now President Elect Joseph Biden:
Yep.
In an oil stained, crumbling asphalt parking lot a stone’s throw from the Fantasy Island Adult Book and the Delaware Valley Crematory. Stormy Daniels to COVID victims.
The Yelp reviews are in:
Four Seasons Total Landscaping did a great job. We’re going to hold all our press conferences there from now on. They even swept the potholed parking lot when we got there!”
A fitting beginning of the end of the ‘lawn order,’ stained presidency of Donald Trump.