Another day, another angry tweet. Another loss, another vow to fight on. Another shameful abuse of office, another vow from disgraced Republicans to back America’s biggest loser.
More bleating, more blaming, more blowing smoke. More of everything. More sleight of hand, more silly rhetoric, more slander.
Send me money so I can fight on. Do you hear me my valiant warriors, my faithful, my flock of useful idiots? My army of the duped? I need more money. Your king is counting on you (to not read the fine print on all my emails). We will prevail, but I need money. I need your wallet, your cool camo outfits and those killer guns you walk around with. Don’t be afraid, O warriors of stop the steal. Your king needs you.
I need your blind obedience. I need your rage which I have so cleverly stoked. I need your pledge of fealty, your commitment to my version of reality. Your steadfast devotion, your belief in me—how good my stand up rally routine is; my wonderful hair, my good judgment, my unmatched brilliance, my prodigiously infallible gut.
To my subjects in the House of Representatives: your King needs you. I have issued a call to arms and you have sworn to obey. You have been on your knees and publicly pledged your undying love and devotion. You have kissed my ring and sworn your oath of allegiance. Know this my faithful elected Republicans, because I am King your pledge to protect and defend the Constitution has been superseded. You are free to abandon your beliefs in democracy, in the rule of law, and in truth.
To the rest of America: You are my enemy and I will attempt to destroy you. I will marshal my army–THE FORCES OF DARKNESS AND IGNORANCE—and burn the country down. I will huff and I will puff and I will blow down democracy. I will bring fire and brimstone like the world has never seen against my sworn enemy: America. I will make the streets run red with the blood of Americans. I will bring my tanks into your rat infested Democratic cities. I will . . .
Wake up Donald, it’s time for your medication.